Calling Me... Home.

I have been called many things in my life, and in that time, I have also been called to do many things I wasn't quite ready or necessarily equipped to accomplish.  However, it was in the process of accepting the calling that I realized that God didn't expect me to have it all figured out.  He only wanted me to answer His calling.

Per His calling, I have knelt at an altar and begged for forgiveness of my sins.  I have ended relationships that He didn't approve.  I have walked away from friendships that weren't good for me.  I have resigned from what I thought were perfect positions because God had even better things planned.  I have started what-seemed-strange-to-others projects, felt burdened to make random phone calls, and was led to go from single to engaged in eight days to my pastor.  These things wouldn't have been possible without God.

I stand in a place of calling again...  except this time, God is calling me to a place that I already am.  I understand fully how weird that sounds, but the Lord is leading me HOME.

In 2008, He made it clear that I was to leave my wonderful teaching position to come home, but it didn't make sense to me at the time.  I wasn't coming home to babies.  In fact, I had just miscarried our first child.  I was heartbroken, but I realized His calling was more important than my understanding.  In my own will, I enrolled in a Master's program, but just in time, God answered that misstep of mine with a positive pregnancy test.  I stayed home with all three of our sons and have been blessed by that opportunity!  In 2013, as our first born was about to enter pre-kindergarten in his Mother's Day Out program, his director actually asked me to take on the position as the pre-K teacher.  While I didn't think anything of it at first, my husband and I knew God wanted me to, so I accepted the position.  I loved teaching my son and my friends' children!  I saw firsthand how important the younger years were and how valuable instilling godly traits into our children was in that first year there.

The start to this school year (2014) was no different.  I was teaching pre-K, and our second son was in my class.  Our energetic first born started Kindergarten, and I was so excited for him that I could bust, having been a former Kindergarten teacher.  It came as a surprise when he didn't enjoy school...  he focused intently on the behavior chart, the language and attitudes of others, and questioned his own self.  My heart became burdened.  I couldn't understand why he didn't love the thing I adored...  until I began to pray.

Our son would make statements about wanting me to be his teacher, wishing he was still in my class, using our dinner table as our "school" table, etc.  I didn't know where he was getting these ideas, but I began to listen to what he was saying rather than ignore them.  I also started listening to what God was saying.  He was making His ways clear and His paths for our family straight, but I didn't want to see them.

I continued teaching pre-K and sending our son to Kindergarten, but he'd wake in tears and come home with attitude and changed behavior.  I know without a doubt God was using these things to change my heart, because He knew how much this teacher likes school.  He was helping me to see that I needed to love my children and God's needs for them MUCH more.

Through the month of December 2014, I heard God calling.  He was calling me away from my treasured position at Mother's Day Out.  He was calling our family away from public school which I support as a former educator.  God was calling me home.  He was calling me to step out in faith to homeschool our children, trust Him with our education, and believe that He can help me to teach and train them diligently as instructed in Deuteronomy 6:4-7:

The LORD our God, the LORD is one.  You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might.  And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart.  You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.

So, I listened to the Lord.  I resigned from my position at MDO in January 2015 with the best response I could have ever imagined from our beloved director and friend.  I enrolled our son in a homeschool academy and purchased curriculum.  I informed his public school and teacher who were extremely understanding.  I have seen God orchestrate all of the details to perfection.

It hasn't been easy on my heart though, and I am sure the journey I have ahead of me will be a challenging one.  However, I have chosen obedience when I begin to question His plan.  I have decided to rest in His peace and let His Word comfort me when the idea of homeschooling becomes overwhelming.  The best place I have found in all of this is in the center of God's will, and for me right now, I realize that He is calling me...  to come HOME.

Something Right

Hit the snooze button...  not once, but three times.

Forgot that I'd made myself coffee.

Realized that I had no house key.

Left the house unlocked all day.

Failed to brush the boys' teeth.

Fussed at the boys for being slow.

Said "no" twenty times before we even got to school, 

   less than a mile from our house.

Arrived late...  on "Breakfast with Santa" day.

Locked myself out of the building.

Realized my zipper was broken.

Hadn't stopped to pray...  

However, school had started, and my class was bustling with excitement after having had breakfast with Santa and were ready to party and open gifts!  Nine of my eleven students (1 of them being Daniel) sat down at their desks with their journals opened to the heading, "What I Want for Christmas," and their mouths couldn't quiet enough for their fingers to even begin drawing.  I was rather hurried myself, getting things ready for crafts and ensuring that each child had brought a gift for the book exchange later in the day...  but that is when I overheard it... 

The phrase I wasn't really ready to hear come out of MY child's mouth:

"Santa isn't even real."

The little girls at his table all gasped.  He repeated it over again.  My heart became a bit overwhelmed, yet I felt the sweetest urge to let the conversation continue.  Daniel tried explaining the best he could.  "He's just a man who gets dressed up.  You know, like a Halloween costume, and he listens to you, but he really doesn't know what you need."  To be honest, he was telling these little ones the truth, but I knew these girls' hearts were breaking.  "We just have a lot of baby Jesus at our house and we read about when he was born and we get presents like him."

That's the moment I remember distinctly asking God to lead me.  

I stepped in, with the Lord's guidance, and began to give details about Daniel's bold statements.  I said, "I realize that Santa comes to your houses, but Santa Claus doesn't come to Daniel's house."  They were shocked.  "Daniel's Daddy and I love him and his brothers so much that we want to take care of giving them gifts at Christmas.  We've instructed Santa that we will take care of them, so he doesn't need to come to our home."  One precious girl asked, "How do you know what they want?  Like, what presents do they get on Christmas if Santa doesn't come?"  I continued, "I'm Daniel's Mommy, and to be honest, I think I know him better than most anyone!  (The girls laughed!)  I know what he needs and what he wants, and his Dad and I choose things we feel are best for him.  But, that isn't the only reason Santa doesn't come to our house..."

They all were listening so intently at this point, you could have heard a pin drop.  "Daniel, Samuel, and Elias are precious gifts to us, and they each get three gifts on Christmas.  Only three.  Sometimes you will get much more than that, but not at our house.  You see, the very first Christmas, a baby was born.  He wasn't just any baby; he was a gift to the world from God.  Wise men came to celebrate his birthday by bringing him three gifts:  gold, frankincense, and myrrh.  They brought him exactly what he needed and much more.  I know this is hard to understand, but we feel like our boys only need three because that is all that Jesus received.  We do that because we want to remember Jesus at Christmas, not Santa.  Does that make sense?"

They all shook their heads, but I realized questions were filling their minds...  

"I love Jesus, too, but is it okay if Santa still comes to my house?"

Daniel quickly responds, "SURE!  Just not me because I like baby Jesus more than Santa."  I agreed with him.  I went on further to say that there was nothing wrong with Santa, and it is wonderful if he comes to their homes.  I finished by saying that when they receive gifts from Santa to remember and be thankful for the best gift of all, JESUS!  All was well after this, and nothing else was really mentioned about it.

It was a moment I'll never forget for many reasons.  However, looking back at it tonight, God filled my heart with such joy as I thought about what Daniel had said.  His boldness in speaking truth, his relentless fervor for being right, and his unbridled spirit and love for the Lord have blessed me.  If it weren't for him, I would have never spoken so directly about Santa or Christ!  In a day when the morning had gone so wrong in so many different ways, God reminded me that I am doing something right.  

Daniel wasn't upset about being different.  He wasn't bothered that "Santa" isn't coming to his house.  He was intent on telling the truth and sharing what he felt was important.  God showed me, through the actions of our four-year-old, that being a child of God is being different.  It is doing things a bit peculiarly.  It is speaking truth and sharing His message when the opportunity arises.  It is all that I want to be found doing...  something right for the Lord.  

Daniel standing beside one of our "Names of Jesus" trees

Back to School

I was intrigued when I read her response to my email concerning my son entering his final year of Mother's Day Out before Kindergarten.

"I think I'm going to need another PreK teacher...let me know if you know any one interested in a part-time job (wink wink)."

I knew she meant me.  I quickly forwarded the email to my husband, and instead of a response, he texted, "WHOA?!"  I wasn't sure if I'd be going back to teaching or not, but the idea was so intriguing.  I love to teach.  I love the opportunity to create in a classroom setting.  I love watching little eyes light up when they've realized something they didn't see before.  

But, God had called me 5 years ago away from the classroom.  He was clear.  So clear that I almost fought His directions to me.  God wanted me at home.  He wanted me to heal from my miscarriage.  He needed me to enjoy my second pregnancy and the birth of our first born without any distractions.  He also wanted me home when I quickly learned I was pregnant for a third time when Daniel was only 3 months old.  He knew I needed to stay within these four walls with sweet Samuel and his energetic, big toddler brother.  He had me here during the days of my 4th pregnancy which ended in a miscarriage, and He was ready for me to rejoice when becoming pregnant a fifth time.  He allowed me to watch Elias through all of his doctor visits, hospital stays, and procedures.  I have no questions NOW about why God called me out of teaching then.

It didn't take us but a day to prayerfully consider this new offer.  It was perfect for me and our little family.  I would teach at the Mother's Day Out program where our boys attend.  I would get paid for doing something I was trained by a university and gifted by God to do.  It was pretty clear to us that evening that I was going to be going back to teach Pre-K in the Fall of 2013.

Here I am.  

13 students (one of them is my own, Daniel), and I couldn't be more thrilled with what God and this program are allowing me to do each Tuesday and Thursday!  It's truly been so much fun and exciting going back to school, and I can't thank God enough for the opportunity to do so!

Our Carpet Area

The Wall of Art

Birthday Bulletin

Daniel was excited to find his name on the wall!

Oh, and to get his treat from his teacher, Mom.

Treat Bags for Students

Mine and Daniel's 1st Day of Pre-K

The Week of P

As a former Kindergarten teacher, I love everything about school.  I love that our children attend a Mother's Day Out program that incorporates Christ into learning, and what's great is that my boys love to learn!  Last week was "P Week" at MDO, and on Tuesday the boys got to wear their pajamas to school.  Samuel was so anxious to wear his Elmo jammies and Toy Story house shoes that he woke up at 6:30 that morning asking, "Is it school day?  Can I go see Ms. Rochelle yet?"  

Might I add that Samuel has NEVER,

not ONCE wore his house shoes before...

that is, until Pajama day at MDO!

Daniel was decked out 

in his Thomas Pajama gear!

Thomas pjs, house shoes, lunch box, 

and even a Thomas nap mat.

Later that week, the boys Pretended to be

what they call "cookers."

Samuel also proved himself to be

the perfectionist we know him to be

by sitting and eating every last piece 

of rice leftover from his Mexican dinner.

(Excuse my face in this one.  I was SO surprised!)

And, last but not least, our littlest one (8 1/2 months)

isn't a big eater.  In fact, he's not eating anything yet at all.

He's still breastfed and healthy, 23 lbs healthy, 

wearing 18 month clothes healthy, but he's not into food.

That is, until his brothers got popsicles.

He actually wanted it!

We ended this week with seeing the pediatrician...  All three boys had sinus infections, and Daniel had an ear infection.  Antibiotics for all!  Then, Mommy got sick with bronchitis, sinus infection, and an ear infection too.  Would we all be puny on Valentine's Day?!

Simple Christmas Truths

I have strong feelings about Santa.  I do.  I'll be honest when I say that I struggled over whether or not to allow the boys' to attend their Mother's Day Out's "Breakfast with Santa" this year.  I really cannot explain why I dislike him, but I can say without question that I want our children to know truth.  I want them to know who Jesus is and why we celebrate Christmas in the first place.  So, after giving it way too much thought, I opted to make sausage balls and head over to see Santa.

The boys really don't know who he is.  They've been told that many people celebrate Santa at Christmas, but we have decided that Jesus is who our family will honor.  They call Santa "old" and "snowman," and they think he is silly.  They've only seen him in pictures and as inflatables in our neighbors' front yards.

Our house is decorated with nativity scenes this season...  I have a total of 6 nativities, and I'm hoping that the Fisher Price one goes on sale following the holiday so the boys can have one of their own for next year.  The boys know who Baby Jesus is.  They know He was born in a barn.  They know He received three gifts for his birthday (and if you ask them, they'll name them - gold, frankincense, and myrrh).  They know our tree is decorated with ornaments that represent Jesus and all He is to us.  So, Santa isn't well-known in our house.  I don't mean to offend anyone who chooses to "believe" in him; we've simply decided he's not for us.

We walk in, and I was in Santa-overload.  It was all very cute, but when Christmas rolls around, I prefer less Santa and more Baby Jesus.  I really was having a hard time deciding if we should even walk up front to see Santa, when Daniel tells me he needs to see him.

This is what I overheard:

Santa:  What's your name?
Daniel:  My name's Daniel Benjamin, and this is Samuel Levi.  Oh, and my baby is Elias Joseph.
Santa:  Daniel...  That's a strong biblical name.
Daniel:  Yeah, it's in the Bible.
Santa:  What does Daniel do in the Bible?
Daniel:  He prays a lot.  He gets away from the lions!
Santa:  You're right.  So, Daniel, is there anything you'd like me to get you for Christmas?
Daniel:  I don't need you to get me nothing.  My mommy went on the roof yesterday and got some new toys for me and my brothers.

I quickly realized two things, that 1) a child's old baby toys are just like new when you get them down after a year's stay in the attic, and 2) a child can choose what he wants to believe.  My sweet, rambunctious 3-year-old has decided that the Bible is the book for him.  He knows where his name came from.  He knows that, with the help of the Lord, his parents will give him what he needs.  He knows who he is.

Children had asked for all sorts of things that morning, but our son said he needed nothing.  My heart was so full.  He may choose to believe in Santa next year, but whatever Daniel (or Samuel or Elias) decides will be up to them.  I can only guide their precious hearts to truth and pray that God leads them to Himself.  I hope that one day Daniel will see that Christ is all he will ever need.  I feel like we're on the right path.



I also want to thank our children's Mother's Day Out program for ALL that they do for us.  While my children may not celebrate Santa, they are loved on and taught each week by women who adore them.  I'm blessed to call these teachers my friends, and I love them for what they do!