Best Gifts of 2012

This gift came early.

In that box was a Vanderbilt hoodie

from Brian to me.

In the box that followed were two tickets

to the Vanderbilt bowl game!

This Noah's Ark was such a huge hit!

It was from Pop to Elias, 

but Daniel and Samuel love it too.

Mimi's gift to Samuel was perfect.

He is such a little musician.

He loves this thing.

Amazed.

That's what Daniel was when

Mimi brought out her gift to him.

A remote controlled Cranky 

to go with his Thomas trains and tracks.

It's awesome.

The actual child's grocery cart 

from Grandpa to Samuel

(which Mommy spray painted

and made it to look brand new)

has been used non-stop.

Not only does it carry grocery boxes,

it also carries tracks, animals, and books.

Two surprises from Daddy to Mommy

are in this picture:

1) the necklace I am wearing has all 5 

of our children's names stamped into it - 

sweetest thing ever

and 

2) the sketch of Elias done by a young man

that is incredibly talented and is in the 

program at the Mission where Brian works.

Mimi's gift to Elias was this

Chase and Race town.

All three boys enjoy it!

Aunt Ca got each of the boys a bathtub paint set.

Be still my heart.

They've had two baths in less than 24 hours.

They love painting in the tub so much.

Grandpa's gift to Elias is a keeper.

Our sickish little one actually smiled

when he started playing with it.

The best gifts are not things...

For me, the best gift of all

is the gift of Christ and His love.

It is because of Him 

that we know how to love

and be loved.

My heart is FULL.

Sweet, Simple Christmas

I love Christmas.  I love the truth it brings.  I love that it is a time to really reflect on the birth of Jesus.  I don't always think of my Savior as a child, but now that I am a mother, the story of Christ's arrival is much sweeter to me.  The idea that God's Son was willing to come to this earth to bless us with the gift of His life, death, and resurrection completely amazes me.

Christmas for our family is simple.  We eat too much, laugh a bunch, and love on each other.  We read from Luke over and over and over to reiterate the importance of this holiday, and at this point, both Daniel and Samuel can tell you the gifts the wise men brought to baby Jesus.  Our boys, much like Jesus, receive three gifts from Mom and Dad on Christmas morning.  They wake to find them neatly wrapped and set out underneath our "Jesus" tree.  However, they cannot open them until after we read about the gift of Jesus!  

I know we do things a bit different than most, but there's something sweet about the simplicity of what we do.  Jesus didn't come into the world with fancy things, yet He was and is the King of Kings.  He definitely wasn't the best dressed wearing swaddling cloths and lying among pieces of hay, yet He now wears a robe and a crown.  He didn't need gifts because He was and is the gift to the world.  I want our children to know that Christmas is about CHRIST and nothing more.  The reason we lavish our love on our children at this time of year is because Christ first loved us.  Yes, they got way more than they need, but I hope that in the excitement of what was today, our boys reflected on who and why we celebrate:  Jesus Christ, our Lord.

3 boys

3 stockings

3 gifts for each

(Stockings are my favorite Christmas childhood memory - 

my mom was very good about making these special for us, 

so I really want to continue that tradition with our boys.)

Reading the Christmas Story

in our pajamas

Daniel, despite having gone to the doctor

on Christmas Eve and having ear infections,

was SUPER excited to get 

Crazy Forts from Mom and Dad!

Thankful for medicine today.

Samuel, our little musician,

was happy to get a microphone

that plays music AND

records him singing!

Elias really wasn't feeling well...

He has been running temp since Christmas Eve, 

and today his symptoms increased.

However, he really liked his 

Chase and Go car.

BUT not near as much as he liked 

his Laugh and Learn farm he received

from Grandpa a few days before Christmas.

We decided to pull it out on Christmas Day - 

you know, to add to the chaos.  

We were all ready to go back to bed.

No?

Just Mom and Elias.

We really test the "age recommendation"

on toys to their limits.  For instance,

the barn says ages 6-36 months.

No joke, our 3 sons played with this for an hour.

Elias (7 months)

Samuel (31 months = 2 1/2 years)

Daniel (44 months = 3 1/2 years)

Daniel acted like it was the best thing

he's seen in a year!

What Christmas 

(and double ear infections)

does to Daniel!

Asleep on the couch by 7 o'clock

Simple Christmas Truths

I have strong feelings about Santa.  I do.  I'll be honest when I say that I struggled over whether or not to allow the boys' to attend their Mother's Day Out's "Breakfast with Santa" this year.  I really cannot explain why I dislike him, but I can say without question that I want our children to know truth.  I want them to know who Jesus is and why we celebrate Christmas in the first place.  So, after giving it way too much thought, I opted to make sausage balls and head over to see Santa.

The boys really don't know who he is.  They've been told that many people celebrate Santa at Christmas, but we have decided that Jesus is who our family will honor.  They call Santa "old" and "snowman," and they think he is silly.  They've only seen him in pictures and as inflatables in our neighbors' front yards.

Our house is decorated with nativity scenes this season...  I have a total of 6 nativities, and I'm hoping that the Fisher Price one goes on sale following the holiday so the boys can have one of their own for next year.  The boys know who Baby Jesus is.  They know He was born in a barn.  They know He received three gifts for his birthday (and if you ask them, they'll name them - gold, frankincense, and myrrh).  They know our tree is decorated with ornaments that represent Jesus and all He is to us.  So, Santa isn't well-known in our house.  I don't mean to offend anyone who chooses to "believe" in him; we've simply decided he's not for us.

We walk in, and I was in Santa-overload.  It was all very cute, but when Christmas rolls around, I prefer less Santa and more Baby Jesus.  I really was having a hard time deciding if we should even walk up front to see Santa, when Daniel tells me he needs to see him.

This is what I overheard:

Santa:  What's your name?
Daniel:  My name's Daniel Benjamin, and this is Samuel Levi.  Oh, and my baby is Elias Joseph.
Santa:  Daniel...  That's a strong biblical name.
Daniel:  Yeah, it's in the Bible.
Santa:  What does Daniel do in the Bible?
Daniel:  He prays a lot.  He gets away from the lions!
Santa:  You're right.  So, Daniel, is there anything you'd like me to get you for Christmas?
Daniel:  I don't need you to get me nothing.  My mommy went on the roof yesterday and got some new toys for me and my brothers.

I quickly realized two things, that 1) a child's old baby toys are just like new when you get them down after a year's stay in the attic, and 2) a child can choose what he wants to believe.  My sweet, rambunctious 3-year-old has decided that the Bible is the book for him.  He knows where his name came from.  He knows that, with the help of the Lord, his parents will give him what he needs.  He knows who he is.

Children had asked for all sorts of things that morning, but our son said he needed nothing.  My heart was so full.  He may choose to believe in Santa next year, but whatever Daniel (or Samuel or Elias) decides will be up to them.  I can only guide their precious hearts to truth and pray that God leads them to Himself.  I hope that one day Daniel will see that Christ is all he will ever need.  I feel like we're on the right path.



I also want to thank our children's Mother's Day Out program for ALL that they do for us.  While my children may not celebrate Santa, they are loved on and taught each week by women who adore them.  I'm blessed to call these teachers my friends, and I love them for what they do!

A Big Christmas Surprise

I have to be honest, there isn't much that really surprises me.  However, this year despite awesome gifts, what caught me by surprise was the overwhelming response I would receive when answering the once-a-year question, "What is Santa going to bring you?" 

I, of course, answered for each of my children when this question was turned in our direction, because let's face it, our kids don't know who that white-bearded man is!  In fact, Daniel calls him, "Snowman."  Almost every stop we made during the weeks leading up to Christmas met us with this age-old question, and I was shocked and overwhelmingly disappointed at people's responses when I explained that Santa wouldn't be visiting our house.  I would quickly exclaim that Daniel and Samuel would be getting three gifts from their parents just as Jesus received three presents from the wise men.  We'd be celebrating the true miracle of Christmas, the One who lives in our hearts, and not the one in the world's imagination.

Well, you would think these people believed I was depriving our boys due to the fact that Santa wouldn't be coming, when I feel as though we are giving them the greatest gift there is - truth and life!  I wish I could explain the looks on these women's faces as the disappointment welled up within them.  I wish I could tell you how sorry I felt for each of them.  I wish I could have shaken their shoulders and helped them to understand that our decision was best for our family.  There was no way to do this, because the pitiful truth is that "Santa" has become what Christmas is about. 

Whether we'll admit it or not, our society is obsessed with Santa Claus.  He is everywhere the day after Halloween, and strangely enough, he is a whopping 66% off the day after Christmas.  How sad is that?!  We wrap ourselves up in this falsehood that has nothing to do with what this holiday was intended to be about, and I am absolutely certain that my children are better off without him.

However, what would break my heart is knowing that I didn't take the opportunity each year (and on a daily basis, more importantly) to teach our boys about the Baby that came to die for their sins.  He came to take away the sadness the world experiences once Christmas day is over.  He came for them as the most precious and priceless gift that was ever given, and He was given to them. 

What surprised me most this year was the fact that people could not see how important this Baby was to our family!  We turned to Him rather than a man in a red coat to give gifts to our children.  And you know what?  Our boys were thrilled with their three gifts!  They are the gifts they are still playing with three days following the holiday.  My heart is overjoyed with the miracle that is Jesus Christ, and I pray that one day, He'll surprise my children with the great gift of salvation.  This is what Christmas means to me.

Or Calls Me Home...

As I sit quietly on the living room couch, with our two babies tucked in tight and my husband enjoying the middle of the bed, I realize how blessed I am.  Just today, I heard "I love you" three times in a row from my two-year-old and had dinner with some very dear friends, but also occuring today was a dear man of the faith being laid to rest.  While I know he is rejoicing this very second upon such sights I cannot fathom, I cannot help but wonder what his sweet wife is feeling without him.

His passing (and many others recently) has me fearful over losing those I love.  The adversary seems to find ways to make me question God's sovereignty, and I tend to get weak when he tugs at my heart.  Just last night, I dreamed that I woke up without Daniel, and tonight as Brian and I talked about our day, I got teary-eyed when we discussed what we'd do without the other.  He told me I would be fine, but I couldn't imagine it...

While I know that God is in complete control, I can't help but be human and fear what is to come.  I know there will be loss.  I realize there is a chance I'll out live our children.  I understand that our children already only have one set of grandparents.  I am very aware that I'm not guaranteed tomorrow.  What I have is now.  This very moment.

In this very moment, I have all I never pictured I would.  I have the most amazing husband who loves me for me.  He accepts me just as I am and loves me with his words.  I have two beautiful boys who literally make my heart joyous at the thought of them.  Their laughter and love make me want to be a better person for their sake.  I have a heavenly Father who lavishes His love on me on a constant basis.  He saved me from my sins when I cried out to Him as a 10-year-old girl. I have more than I need here in our home.  I'm spoiled rotten with material things.  I have eyes to see, ears to hear, and a heart that is open to love. 

Tomorrow is another day, and while God very well may choose to change all I've been given, I am going to rest in the One who holds the world in the palm of His hand.  I'm going to sleep peacefully, knowing that if I do not wake, He has prepared for me a home in heaven. If I lose everyone I love, I still have Christ.  He will always be my Comforter, my all in all.  In Him, I can truly live without the fear of death.  May we all see our blessings in life and use them for His glory until He comes back or calls me home.

In Christ alone, my hope is found
He is my light, my strength, my song
This Cornerstone, this solid ground
Firm through the fiercest drought and storm

What heights of love, what depths of peace
When fears are stilled, when strivings cease
My Comforter, my All in All
Here in the love of Christ I stand

In Christ alone, who took on flesh
Fullness of God in helpless Babe
This gift of love and righteousness
Scorned by the ones He came to save

Til on that cross as Jesus died
The wrath of God was satisfied
For every sin on Him was laid
Here in the death of Christ I live

There in the ground His body lay
Light of the world by darkness slain
Then bursting forth in glorious day
Up from the grave He rose again

And as He stands in victory
Sin's curse has lost its grip on me
For I am His and He is mine
Bought with the precious blood of Christ

No guilt in life, no fear in death
This is the power of Christ in me
From life's first cry to final breath
Jesus commands my destiny

No power of hell, no scheme of man
Could ever pluck me from His hand
Til He returns or calls me home
Here in the power of Christ I stand

Sweet

You want to know what is super sweet?

Daniel.

He really is. 

Let me explain...

As of late, Daniel becomes very concerned the very second Samuel wakes from his naps.  He announces, "Mommy, Samuel awake.  He's cryin'."  He will say this over and over until I follow him into the boys' room to get Samuel from his crib.  Sweet, right?!

Daniel's vocabulary is booming.  Some of the sweetest things he says right now are:  "I love you."  (he still hasn't told Mommy he loves her.)  "I sorry, Mommy."  "Help me, please."  The lines, "Jesus loves me this I know for the BI-ble tells me so."  Oh, and he sings, "Joy, Joy, Where?!," from I've got the joy, joy, joy, joy down in my heart, where?! song.  I'm telling you, these are so sweet!

Tonight, on our way home from revival, I suggested that Brian roll down the windows in the car to make some "white noise" to ease a very fussy Samuel.  Moments later, Samuel was silent, and Daniel was as well.  I turned to find Daniel with his hand blowing in the wind and a huge grin across his sweet face.  He was so excited!

But, honestly, the sweetest thing about Daniel is his love of physical touch.  When we lay him in his bed at night, he wants one of us to stay right beside his bed, and then he'll stick his arm through the toddler bed railing to hold our hands.  When he has done something by himself (like build a mega block tower or connected every single one of his train tracks together), Daniel will grab my hand, lead me to his creation, stand beside me, hand in hand, and very proudly point.  He blows kisses to whoever we are leaving.  He hugs his brother and tickles him endlessly.  AND, just tonight, as he was falling asleep, rubbed my hair until he couldn't stay awake any longer... 

But I'll be blunt here and tell you that Daniel isn't always sweet.  He just might be the most challenging child I've ever faced in my life.  In fact, he has learned how to push my buttons like no one else and has even caused me to lose my temper like I will never admit.  I find myself angrier than I care to get and more impatient with each passing hitting or pushing incident, terrible two tantrum, and disobedient move he makes.  He tends to bring out my worst qualities on most days.

However, I am reminded constantly, through this little child, that I have been given the awesome opportunity from God to raise him.  I honestly believe, on some days, he is raising me.  He is teaching me to be calmer and less temperamental.  He shows me that laughter is better than anger, and messes only last for a short while.  One day, I'll miss his tantrums and hearing him say, "I sorry, Mommy," after he's had a timeout.  I am learning that I cannot grow as a parent OR a person without these teachable moments from my child.  The negative habits and dramatic personality I see in Daniel are ones I've passed down to him, and I am being forced to change so that he will see more of Christ and less of me.

There isn't anything sweet about me.  Except for this great, big fact...   God is sweet on me (and you).  He is incredibly good to me.  He's given me a heart that longs for Him, and because of that, I am constantly being molded to look more like Christ.  Why is this so important?  Well, there is a little set of eyes that imitates most everything he sees his Mommy do, and God knows that if He can use Mommy to win this little boy to Him, then it will all be worth it.  Daniel's heart could one day love like Christ, and hopefully, I can be what God used to get him to that point. 

I imagine years from now I'll look back on these days and will have forgotten the frustrating times.  I'll be able to see past all the things that were so difficult about raising Daniel.  I'll realize that it was God's way of raising me to look more like His Son.  I'll understand that without the child-rearing pains, there would be no gains.  Most importantly, I hope to remember how sweet it was to be Daniel's Mommy and how deeply I was/am loved by the King.

Honored

Why? 
Because Christ died, for me.

Why?
Because He rose three days later, for me.

Why?
Because my husband is amazing.  He fears the Lord, loves Him faithfully, and strives to serve Him in all he does.  And, on top of all that, my husband was made for me.  Me.

Why?
Because our son is precious.  God gave us Daniel...  and though I feel at times that I fail miserably at being a parent, I am so humbled by the fact that this little boy is our responsibility, our gift.  The Lord gave Daniel to me.

Why?
Because despite who I am and what I've done, the Lord loves me.

He gives me days like today to remind me of how great He truly is.  I'm honored to be His child.  I'm so thankful that on Easter, I can truly say that my Redeemer lives.  He's risen, and He's alive.  Isn't that such an honor?

This Simple, Christmas Truth

It ends...  quicker than it even started.

Only days after putting up the decorations, wrapping gifts, and baking those winter goodies, December 26th rolls around, and for me, it isn't sad.  The day AFTER Christmas is actually a beautiful reminder, even though we can get wrapped up in this glorious holiday, that the truth is the real reason we celebrate never will leave us.  We have every reason to be joyous TODAY (and next Wednesday and every day that follows) because our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, is not about presents and gatherings and shopping.  He came so that we may have life...

And that gift from Him, my dear friends, never ends.

Walking in the Newness of Life

I am learning a lot already. On a funny note, I always told everyone who had children that I did not want to change a diaper until I had my own. Well, Jenna is letting me get plenty of experience already. It takes me about 10 minutes, one diaper, and 6 or more wipes to accopmplish the task. Daniel Benjamin's second day has been incredible. He seems to be changing in small ways already, and it is slowly sinking in that life will never be the same.

It reminds me of my walk with Jesus Christ. After being born again at 2:20AM on April 7, 2003, life, though full of many obstacles, has never been the same. I was adopted by the Heavenly Father, brought to life through the blood of His Son Jesus, and delivered from darkness to light through the regenerating power of the Holy Spirit. Life is great knowing God and being cared for by Him. By His grace, Jenna and I are excited to share God's grace and the abundant life we have in Christ with this little boy, Daniel Benjamin.

Thanks for all the love and support you have shown to us. We love you!

Brian, Jenna, and Daniel