Something Right

Hit the snooze button...  not once, but three times.

Forgot that I'd made myself coffee.

Realized that I had no house key.

Left the house unlocked all day.

Failed to brush the boys' teeth.

Fussed at the boys for being slow.

Said "no" twenty times before we even got to school, 

   less than a mile from our house.

Arrived late...  on "Breakfast with Santa" day.

Locked myself out of the building.

Realized my zipper was broken.

Hadn't stopped to pray...  

However, school had started, and my class was bustling with excitement after having had breakfast with Santa and were ready to party and open gifts!  Nine of my eleven students (1 of them being Daniel) sat down at their desks with their journals opened to the heading, "What I Want for Christmas," and their mouths couldn't quiet enough for their fingers to even begin drawing.  I was rather hurried myself, getting things ready for crafts and ensuring that each child had brought a gift for the book exchange later in the day...  but that is when I overheard it... 

The phrase I wasn't really ready to hear come out of MY child's mouth:

"Santa isn't even real."

The little girls at his table all gasped.  He repeated it over again.  My heart became a bit overwhelmed, yet I felt the sweetest urge to let the conversation continue.  Daniel tried explaining the best he could.  "He's just a man who gets dressed up.  You know, like a Halloween costume, and he listens to you, but he really doesn't know what you need."  To be honest, he was telling these little ones the truth, but I knew these girls' hearts were breaking.  "We just have a lot of baby Jesus at our house and we read about when he was born and we get presents like him."

That's the moment I remember distinctly asking God to lead me.  

I stepped in, with the Lord's guidance, and began to give details about Daniel's bold statements.  I said, "I realize that Santa comes to your houses, but Santa Claus doesn't come to Daniel's house."  They were shocked.  "Daniel's Daddy and I love him and his brothers so much that we want to take care of giving them gifts at Christmas.  We've instructed Santa that we will take care of them, so he doesn't need to come to our home."  One precious girl asked, "How do you know what they want?  Like, what presents do they get on Christmas if Santa doesn't come?"  I continued, "I'm Daniel's Mommy, and to be honest, I think I know him better than most anyone!  (The girls laughed!)  I know what he needs and what he wants, and his Dad and I choose things we feel are best for him.  But, that isn't the only reason Santa doesn't come to our house..."

They all were listening so intently at this point, you could have heard a pin drop.  "Daniel, Samuel, and Elias are precious gifts to us, and they each get three gifts on Christmas.  Only three.  Sometimes you will get much more than that, but not at our house.  You see, the very first Christmas, a baby was born.  He wasn't just any baby; he was a gift to the world from God.  Wise men came to celebrate his birthday by bringing him three gifts:  gold, frankincense, and myrrh.  They brought him exactly what he needed and much more.  I know this is hard to understand, but we feel like our boys only need three because that is all that Jesus received.  We do that because we want to remember Jesus at Christmas, not Santa.  Does that make sense?"

They all shook their heads, but I realized questions were filling their minds...  

"I love Jesus, too, but is it okay if Santa still comes to my house?"

Daniel quickly responds, "SURE!  Just not me because I like baby Jesus more than Santa."  I agreed with him.  I went on further to say that there was nothing wrong with Santa, and it is wonderful if he comes to their homes.  I finished by saying that when they receive gifts from Santa to remember and be thankful for the best gift of all, JESUS!  All was well after this, and nothing else was really mentioned about it.

It was a moment I'll never forget for many reasons.  However, looking back at it tonight, God filled my heart with such joy as I thought about what Daniel had said.  His boldness in speaking truth, his relentless fervor for being right, and his unbridled spirit and love for the Lord have blessed me.  If it weren't for him, I would have never spoken so directly about Santa or Christ!  In a day when the morning had gone so wrong in so many different ways, God reminded me that I am doing something right.  

Daniel wasn't upset about being different.  He wasn't bothered that "Santa" isn't coming to his house.  He was intent on telling the truth and sharing what he felt was important.  God showed me, through the actions of our four-year-old, that being a child of God is being different.  It is doing things a bit peculiarly.  It is speaking truth and sharing His message when the opportunity arises.  It is all that I want to be found doing...  something right for the Lord.  

Daniel standing beside one of our "Names of Jesus" trees

Train and Obey

I gave the boys one instruction before they went outside:  Do NOT get into the mosquito-infested, swamp-looking swimming pool.  After 20 minutes, it came as no surprise to find Daniel standing at the back door, soaking wet.

There are moments in parenting that pass me by, and I don't take the opportunity to teach or train as God would have me.  However, today, as my blonde-haired, strong-willed child was covered in gnats and dirty pool water, I literally felt as if the Lord had sent me back to Genesis 3 where the fall of man occurred.  Sure, Daniel's disobedience wasn't the same as Adam and Eve's, but my heart was burdened, imagining what God must have felt as his children deliberately neglected His Word.

At first, I admit I was angry.  I knew he had heard my instruction, as I had repeated three times before they headed into the backyard.  The fact that he had played so well without getting into the pool for twenty minutes then decided to break the one rule I gave him really frustrated me.  Why, oh why, would he jump into the pool at all?!  All I could muster up to say to Daniel was, "I'm sorry!  You can't play outside anymore today."  No explanation was really necessary in my mind, AT FIRST.

Standing on the patio, I told him to take off his disgusting clothes and bring them to me.  Daniel was mad, but I was livid.  As he gathered his wet items, he muttered complaints and then got very quiet.  He walked into the house and back to his room to get clean clothes.  I cared nothing about going to his room before getting hit hard by the Lord to go straight to him.

Water dripping off his little frame, I got down on my knees in front of him as he was asking what clothes he could wear.  "Daniel, do you know why you had to come inside?...  why Mommy is angry with your actions?"  He put his head down, then looked up and said, "Yes."  "Why?  What rule had Mommy given you before you went outside?"  He answered quickly, "Not to get into the pool."  He had heard me.  I knew he had.  "Why did you do that?"  He didn't really reply.  He just stayed quiet.  I told him that he had disappointed God by disobeying his Mommy.  It must have "clicked" with him because he then quoted Colossians 3:20, "Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord."  He received his consequence, cried, apologized, got dressed, and headed to the living room.

Now, I am relieved...  yet convicted.  I'm relieved because I truly believe he heard me and was truly repentant.  However, I'm beginning to understand the hurt I cause my heavenly Father when I disobey Him and His Word, and that is crazy convicting.  I want my children to understand the pain and disappointment that disobedience causes, and I realize that it won't happen overnight.  Take it from me, at thirty years old, I'm still learning to obey God.  I'm learning to take the time to train my children as He has instructed me.  I'm learning to communicate with Him in prayer as He has called me to.  I'm learning to serve Him and His church with grace and commitment as He commands.  It's a constant battle we all face, but if I don't teach obedience and expect it from our children, they will never understand the importance of following God, respecting authority, and being trustworthy.  This world won't expect this from them, but I will.  I pray that doing so will please the Lord and encourage others to do the same.

Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.
Proverbs 22:6

Mail Mondays

It's hard looking at the same four walls as a stay-at-home mom each day, I'll just be honest.  However, before this blessed job, I was busy teaching 20 five-year-olds, and I realized not too long ago that our boys love to learn.  So, with a degree in education and two toddlers, ages 2 and 3, what did I decide to do?!  I'll tell you what I am doing, and they love it. 

• Mondays - Mail Monday
• Each boy chooses a person to mail a letter to.  They decorate their cards and send sweet messages to their recipient of choice.  Of course, I give them ideas for people who may need encouraging or might be celebrating a birthday that week.  The rest is up to them! 
• Tuesdays - Treat Tuesday
• Daddy has a Tuesday night class he attends, and we actually get the treat of eating out with him before he heads off.  We usually go to "Chicken Lay" because the boys get to play and we get milkshakes.  All in all, it's a treat for all!
• Wednesdays - Work or Word Wednesday
• Depending on the week, we pick a word that needs to be learned or that we're having trouble with.  We've learned OBEY and REVIVAL.  We also spend that day cleaning house, and the boys really do help!  They sweep and mop and dust...  It's great!
• Thursdays - Think Thursday
• I try to challenge the boys on Thursdays.  One week, we talked about the letter A.  The next week, we counted from 1-10.  It's fun because it's whatever I think they need to "think" on.
• Fridays - Fun Friday
• Let's see...  Play-doh, swimming, and friends are the fun we've had thus far!

BUT my favorite for certain is Monday.  I've come to enjoy Mondays much more now that we have mail to send out.  It is so sweet watching them decide who to choose.  It's even more fun watching them color their cards and hearing them tell me what to write our recipients.  I took pictures of our first Mail Monday...  I think they actually enjoyed it!

Coloring their cards

Samuel chose Mary.

She'd not been feeling well,

and he decided she needed a band-aid.

He's so meticulous.

Daniel chose Uncle Ricky.

He was celebrating his birthday.

SO, Daniel wanted him

to have a birthday cake.

Best part about Mail Monday -

showing off their work

AND no dress code.

OBVIOUSLY.

Samuel was excited to show off

his work of art for Mary.

Thank you, Adrian, via Pinterest for the inspiration to make each day a learning opportunity!

He Gets It from His Momma...

I promised no potty-training stories, but this was a learning experience for both my child and me.  I hope you see the simple message here and focus less on the potty parts of this blog.

I see so much of myself in Daniel.  His tendency to be a bit dramatic, his need for details, his love for going and not sitting at home, how he loves to go shopping, his outgoing personality, his passion for music and singing, and his tremendous creative ability (we'll focus on that today) are without a doubt qualities and traits Daniel obtained from me.  I never imagined I could look at one of my children and see a reflection of myself looking back at me, and yet Daniel seems to teach me that I still have areas in which I need to grow because he is so much like me.

Just yesterday, I realized Daniel had gotten quiet.  Way too quiet.  I rushed to find him standing in his room with no bottoms on.  I proceeded to change Samuel's diaper when I was amazed with what I found.  Let's face it, Daniel has always found ways to surprise me...  from lining up his cars and trains with their front sides all facing the same way to learning how to open every child safety lock in this house.  However, yesterday's creative genius went beyond my own belief!

As I said, I went to change Samuel and discovered that the wipes box was empty...  well, somewhat.  I have been the recipient of many items in our wipes box (from trains, crayons, and forks to paper, books, and more), but I have never once found anything liquid inside.  Until yesterday.  Daniel had actually used the empty case as his very own, personal potty - thus, his naked bottom half. 

In disbelief, I look at Daniel and ask, "Honey, did you pee in here?"  He replied (creative as ever), "I so sorry, Mommy.  I not make it to the potty fast."  In other words, Yes, Mom, I peed in the wipes box, and I really am sorry about it.  However, I couldn't make it to the potty in time.  When telling my sister about this event, she asked if I scared him by freaking out over the pee in the wipes case.  To be honest, I would have totally been shocked if this were any other child but my own, but I was actually impressed that he was clever enough NOT to make a mess on the floor but grabbed the next best thing he could find.  It's quite genius. 

In that moment, I happened to see a little bit of Jenna in Daniel.  Just like his mom, he attempted to avoid a problem situation by coming up with a better idea.  He even was creative in the way he apologized and told the truth about his misdoing.  I could have been angry, and while I did say over and over that "pee goes in the potty," I was astonished at how his little mind took something simple and used it in a creative way.  Isn't that what I do when I paint?  Isn't that what I do when I embroider?  Isn't that what I do when an idea for a birthday party pops into my head?  I take simple things and allow the creative ability God has given me and use it to the best of my knowledge. It doesn't always turn out pretty, and it might not even be done correctly, but it's what I do.  That's what I saw in Daniel yesterday...  the fact that God has given him a precious ability to be creative even at almost 3 years old, and that itself is a beautiful thing.

Sure, I'd much rather him use the potty next time...  :)

Learning Life with a New Name

Have you ever been so set on something that you were willing to fight for it? Have you ever gotten to the point that you knew you were so right that you risked a relationship over it? Have you ever learned the hard way that your way was not exactly the right way?

I have. In fact, I learned it just this week. It has taken me four weeks to understand what the Lord has been trying to teach me, and then it dawned on me... The fact was, I was wrong. In learning this life lesson, I had to let go of something I thought was life or death. I risked the sanity in my home over what-only-now-I-see as a tiny detail. I was willing to choose my way over letting the Lord have His.

It is a battle I probably will never live down. It is one I will never forget as I look into the eyes of my soon-to-arrive little boy. It is one my husband will have to always remember as the issue I finally let go and let God. It is one you probably will never understand. It is one I cannot fully explain because it was solely of the Lord.

You see, a little over two years ago, my soon-to-be husband and I sat down in a pair of rocking chairs and planned our lives together. We knew it was what the Lord wanted, so we wasted no time in deciding where to live, what our future would be like, and even how we would name our children. We had it all figured out, except the part about the "we." "We" then did not fully include the Lord. "We" had made our own plans without asking HIM first.

Fast forward to about thirty-eight weeks ago, Brian and I learned we were pregnant. We talked about that evening in the rocking chairs and were excited because we knew what this child's name would be whether it was a boy or a girl. See, there is that "we" word again. We quickly discovered we would be having a boy, and Elijah Thomas was the name we had planned on. We loved Elijah and couldn't wait to share him and HIS NAME with everyone, and "we" didn't. Everyone, even now in this moment, knows our child as "Elijah," all except for one person...

Then, that one person made it very clear to my husband four weeks ago that this child his wife was carrying was NOT "Elijah." He was to be named a specific name that the Lord would give him. God burdened Brian for four weeks, and thus, I fought him over it for twenty-eight days or more. I could not comprehend why my child's name had to be changed and why the Lord wouldn't explain it to me. Oh, but you know, He did.

My husband and I struggled over the decision to change this baby's name. Something so small had become so big in our home, in our marriage, in our relationships with our Lord, and it hurt. We both cried over "Elijah," though it was just a name, it was the name "we" had chosen for him. I grieved. Literally, I ruined two pairs of contacts, wasted a whole box of tissues, and scared my mother half to death. I pushed my husband away, became angry with the Lord, and had no intention of doing what both Brian and God were asking us to do.

Learning to give in, let go, and understand God's purpose are much more important than anything you will ever do. I had to realize what the truth was in this situation the Lord was creating for me, and it was this simple message: he is MY child, as are you. The Lord helped me to understand that the baby's name doesn't matter, nor does his eye color or his sleeping patterns or what clothes he will be wearing. What matters is that the Lord has entrusted me with him, and the Lord is still in complete control.

When I learned life this way, I realized that God had every right to name this child. He created him. He knit him in my womb. He knows more about him than I ever will. He loves him more than I ever can. He has this child in the palm of His Hand, and I am honored that God has chosen this lesson for me.

So, the next time you get so set on something that you are willing to bring out your harsh words and clenched fists... The next time you think you are so right that you are willing to let go of a friend... The next time you are in the middle of learning life the hard way... Just remember that God knows what is best. He completely has your best interests in mind. Be willing to let go and let Him have His way... Besides, the worst thing that could happen, if you are like me, is Him choosing your child and giving him a BRAND, NEW NAME.

We'll share it with you when he arrives...

Getting What I Deserved

Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding.
In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will direct your paths.
Proverbs 3:5-6

It was my freshman year at Western Kentucky University. I was awkward, clumsy, and looking for friends that I hadn't made just yet. Those are what you could see on the outside. Inside, I was busy trying to pass classes that I realized I definitely wasn't prepared for, and honestly, I couldn't believe I had even been accepted into this collegiate school. Soon, I became lazy and thought that if this "university path" wasn't easy that I didn't necessarily have to make an effort. I would miss classes left and right and was ultimately shocked when this next incident occured.

It was Finals Week. I studied. Some. If some means not at all, then that would be what I did. I walked into my Western Civilization class (you know, the one I hadn't been to in weeks), and I took my usual back-of-the-class seat. We all pulled out our little blue examination books and began what I can only describe as the most horrifying test I've ever taken. It was like I was in Kindergarten trying to read chapter books. I had NO idea what to say, and I knew that writing anything would make me more of a fool than I already was. But I did. And I failed the class.

Life lessons aren't the easiest to come by. It took me years to understand what I had done, not only to my transcript, but to myself. I had failed at something. Don't get me wrong, failing isn't failing when you've actually tried. I had made NO attempt at passing that class. Nevertheless, I failed the class because I had failed myself, my parents, and my God.

I heard it said this week that we, as Christians, are not called to understand; we are called to OBEY. When I ran the statement over in my head, it was like another Western Civ. test was being pushed right in front of me. Not because I hadn't studied, but because I never realized that my downfall in most situations is that I give up. If it gets too hard, I just give in.

I am the exact same way with God. When things get difficult in my life, I often find myself blaming God for what He isn't doing. If I cannot understand what is going on around me, then I want to completely rid myself of the situation. I end up doubting that God truly is God, and I expect more from Him the next time around. But where I've gone wrong is that I haven't done anything in regards to proving that I am His child. Just like with wanting to pass that class, I made no effort to make the grade. I just wanted the A and didn't do what it took to get it.

It is an easy thing to say that we love the Lord. It is even easier to love Him when things are good. What happens when we are faced with circumstances that are not ones we would have chosen? Do you, like me, often bail and forget to fall on your knees in prayer? There are so many things I don't understand... I wish I could tell you that life with the Lord is an easy one. It isn't. It, too, is a test. My faith is tested daily, and I don't always pass with an A. I know, though, that all the Lord asks of me is my obedience.

With my failed college course, I had the obedience of a child. I had everything I'd ever wanted: parents that believed in me, were willing to pay for my tuition, and knew what I was capable of. I had a Father that knew I would fail because I wasn't willing to obey. Yet, He gave me a second opportunity to do so. I took the same class the following semester and worked harder than I had at anything. I left that particular course with an A, one I truly deserved because I had obeyed...

A Constant Change

For I am the LORD, I change not…
Malachi 3:6

It did not seem like much at the time it was planted, but it has grown to show me how constant my Lord tends to be. As a friend left the bush beside our house, I never imagined it would actually do what he said it would... The small, green leaves seemed so insignificant that I doubted they would ever take change like he promised. Yet, I watched and waited, and last year, it did nothing. It remained the same, hunter green and never changed in size. I was almost disappointed when this "special" bush did not change before my eyes. Of course, I never took the initiative to water it or prune the plant, but I just expected something to happen.

I am not usually that fond of change, but at the same time, it happens all around me. I have changed hair colors, phone numbers, and cities. I have changed cars, jobs, and relationships more often than I will ever admit. I have made new best friends, began shopping at different stores, and completely changed the ways I think throughout the years. In just two short years, I have gone from a single, outspoken teacher to a married, introverted, stay-at-home, soon-to-be mother, and none of these changes have been easy for me.

Expecting change is one thing, but having it happen without knowing how to handle it is another. I am reminded of Abraham when the Lord told him that his barren wife, Sarah, would give birth in Genesis 17 and 18. He fell on his face, laughed, and doubted the change the Lord promised. Sarah also laughed within herself at the idea of becoming pregnant in her old age. Though they had been told, Abraham and Sarah seemed astounded when she bore Isaac (Gen 21:6-7). Never has change been an easy thing to accept, even when you are waiting for it.

Hannah prayed for change. Though her womb was closed, she went year after year praying for a child. Hannah even vowed that if the LORD of hosts would grant her a son, “…then I will give him to the LORD all the days of his life (1 Samuel 1:11).” Did Hannah realize what she was promising? After pleading years for a child, would she willingly give it away? We all know that she did (in the latter portion of 1 Samuel 1). She begged for change and received it. She waited for change and cherished it. She longed for change and loved it.

No matter how change comes, it is never what we expect, and its outcome is not always what we planned. However, while waiting on our burning bush, which never seemed to bring forth the change I was hoping for, I have learned that God is in the midst of the changes we seek or are given. He promised that He Himself would never change. Daniel said, “Blessed be the name of God forever and ever, for wisdom and might are His. And He changes the times and the seasons… He gives wisdom to the wise and knowledge to those who have understanding (Daniel 2:20-21).” Though things around us are changing, we can be confident in knowing that the Lord will give spiritual guidance to those who seek Him.

As I looked outside this afternoon, I saw the most beautiful thing… change. In it, I saw how faultlessly and timely the Lord moves. The leaves were a bright red, and just like Moses before his burning bush, I stood in awe of the wonder of change and the beauty of a constant God.

When He Speaks

A man’s heart plans his way, But the LORD directs his steps.
Proverbs 16:9

For three days, I worked diligently on a painting that would be given to an expectant mother. I watched as the colors fell into place and became one of the most unique things I had ever done. The baby's name soon was creatively decorated onto the canvas, and finally, the decision on which scripture to use was finalized. As I wrote the bright pink verse on the pink and green polka dotted canvas, I did not know then how true they would be for me in the next few days...

Just a week before I began this gift, I had applied and been accepted to Western Kentucky University's online Master's Program in Elementary Education. I was overjoyed at the possibility of pursuing a purpose in my life. The door opened for me so quickly to go back to college; I never once took the time to really pray it through. It just seemed as if it were the right thing to do.

In my heart though, I believe I knew better. Just like the pink and green dots so brilliantly corresponded, a teacher with a year off should take the time to get her Master's degree. Or so I thought. We joke about it now, but my husband questioned me one afternoon about going back to school. The anxiety about it was overwhelming me, and with such clarity and conviction, I told him, "I would rather be a mother, than have a Master's."

For the past nine months, I have longed for a child. In December of 2007, when I learned we were in fact pregnant with our first child, I knew God was answering my prayers. Just two short months later, when that same God took the baby into His arms, I asked Him over and over why it had to be this way when He had just given me all that I wanted. When we didn't get pregnant in the next few months and knowing I would not be teaching in any school in the upcoming fall, we decided that God wanted us to further our education. I shared the information with family after being accepted, and as excited as they all were, my dad said the most peculiar words after learning of the news, “I thought you were calling to tell me you were pregnant." He even seemed disappointed (don't take this wrong because my father would love to see me graduate again).

I'll be honest... I was too. Two years ago when I graduated from Western, I was so thankful to be leaving and had no intentions of going back. God seems to have His own ideas and plans, and He actually wasn't keeping them from me. You see, as I was busy making my own plans to head back to school, God was speaking His plans for me loud and clear through paintings, family, and in my heart. I would not be going back to school because 1) the cost is currently too expensive, and 2) we are pregnant with our second child.

Now, I don't know the specific plans God has for me, and I'm not sure that I will ever meet this child that is within me. What I do know is that, through the steady sound of a heartbeat on an ultrasound monitor, God speaks clearly. He speaks directly. He speaks with great wisdom. When He speaks, we must listen. Our lives are not our own, and our decisions are not ours to make. So with a humble heart, I write to express my deepest apologies for misinforming you about my returning to college, and I meekly ask you to pray for us as we anticipate the plans God has for our future...

The bright pink words on the canvas stand out now. They are so plain yet now incredibly beautiful, as I know that God was using them to speak to my heart. "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope." How awesome it is when God speaks!


(See the “Bright Pink Canvas” here.)

Leap of Faith

Therefore they said to him, “How were your eyes opened?” He answered and said, “A Man called Jesus made mud and anointed my eyes and said to me, ‘Go to the pool of Siloam and wash.’ So I went and washed, and I received sight.”
John 9:10-11

Jumping into puddles was SO easy when I was a child. It would thrill me, after each storm, to run through these little miracles God had left behind. The mud and the drops that splattered onto my legs never bothered me at all. Turns out I'm not a child anymore, and the truth is every spot irritates me to no end.

The mud on my legs has been quite evident lately. It's been no question to those of you who know me what I've been covered with. You know how my heart aches and what it is I've been longing for, and yet none of those things have come to pass. The puddles continue to pile up around me, and my heart longs for an escape from them all.

Instead of taking these "acts of God" head on, I've tiptoed around them. I've been so scared of getting dirty. I've been clinging to my clean clothes and worrying that the stains that may have found themselves splattered into my life would never come out.

The stains life leaves behind usually cannot be washed away. As they settle into the fabric of who we are, God has no intention of you doing His laundry. He simply uses each spot as a testament of who He is and how faithful we are. Will we spend load after load trying to rid ourselves of these blots, or will we simply trust that He is God and has a special purpose for each blemish?

With all of this in mind, I have quickly learned that each puddle is made for me. I can either run straight through it, wallow in the mud, or tiptoe around the water. There aren't many other options... Dirty may be the only way I can come out, but dirty is what I am, a simple sinner saved by God's grace. God's using the mud to clean me up. Romans 8:28 says that, "All things work together for good to them that love God..." ALL THINGS. Every single puddle. Each spot of mud. He uses them all.

Instead of spending my days avoiding the puddles that life brings me, I should take them head on, full force, and wait for the cleaning. I've realized that maybe God hasn't intended for me to have exactly what I want. All these things I've been stained with are preparing me for the future. Right now is not the future. What God had in store for my life was a brand new puddle, and it's going to take a lot of mud to get through.

I'm plunging straight into college. Not motherhood, not teaching, not housework... College.

I have applied to an Online Elementary Education Master's program from Western Kentucky University and if accepted, will begin classes on Monday, August 25th. Yes, it sounds strange. It's proably crossed your mind that I just washed my hands of teaching a little over three months ago... But God wasn't completely finished. He wanted me to go back, get my hands dirty, and love learning all over again... Here it is, one of the biggest puddles I've faced, and yet the only way around this one is a leap of faith...