A Big Christmas Surprise

I have to be honest, there isn't much that really surprises me.  However, this year despite awesome gifts, what caught me by surprise was the overwhelming response I would receive when answering the once-a-year question, "What is Santa going to bring you?" 

I, of course, answered for each of my children when this question was turned in our direction, because let's face it, our kids don't know who that white-bearded man is!  In fact, Daniel calls him, "Snowman."  Almost every stop we made during the weeks leading up to Christmas met us with this age-old question, and I was shocked and overwhelmingly disappointed at people's responses when I explained that Santa wouldn't be visiting our house.  I would quickly exclaim that Daniel and Samuel would be getting three gifts from their parents just as Jesus received three presents from the wise men.  We'd be celebrating the true miracle of Christmas, the One who lives in our hearts, and not the one in the world's imagination.

Well, you would think these people believed I was depriving our boys due to the fact that Santa wouldn't be coming, when I feel as though we are giving them the greatest gift there is - truth and life!  I wish I could explain the looks on these women's faces as the disappointment welled up within them.  I wish I could tell you how sorry I felt for each of them.  I wish I could have shaken their shoulders and helped them to understand that our decision was best for our family.  There was no way to do this, because the pitiful truth is that "Santa" has become what Christmas is about. 

Whether we'll admit it or not, our society is obsessed with Santa Claus.  He is everywhere the day after Halloween, and strangely enough, he is a whopping 66% off the day after Christmas.  How sad is that?!  We wrap ourselves up in this falsehood that has nothing to do with what this holiday was intended to be about, and I am absolutely certain that my children are better off without him.

However, what would break my heart is knowing that I didn't take the opportunity each year (and on a daily basis, more importantly) to teach our boys about the Baby that came to die for their sins.  He came to take away the sadness the world experiences once Christmas day is over.  He came for them as the most precious and priceless gift that was ever given, and He was given to them. 

What surprised me most this year was the fact that people could not see how important this Baby was to our family!  We turned to Him rather than a man in a red coat to give gifts to our children.  And you know what?  Our boys were thrilled with their three gifts!  They are the gifts they are still playing with three days following the holiday.  My heart is overjoyed with the miracle that is Jesus Christ, and I pray that one day, He'll surprise my children with the great gift of salvation.  This is what Christmas means to me.

Things That Make Me...

Crazy:

• Stealing.
• Hearing my 2 year old say, "Stop it!"
• When both boys are crying.
• Diapers that don't hold together too well.
• Wet beds.
• Poo-poo in the pants and not in the potty.
• The fridge's water dispenser.
• Children's snacks attracting ants.
• Watching Samuel fall while walking.
• Having to deal with bibs.

Angry:

• Daniel's strange sleeping patterns or lack thereof.
• Staying up too late.
• Not getting my to-do list accomplished.
• Bugs. 
• Finding ants in the cereal cabinet!
• Smooshed grapes.
• Spitting children.

Frustrated:

• Piles of laundry.
• Children that can climb gates.
• Spilled juice.
• The timeout technique.  Enough said.
• When Daniel pulls all the dvds out.
• When Daniel gets out all of the batteries.
• When naptime ends.
• Not getting a shower.

Laugh:

• When Daniel begs for, "Do-wa."  (Dora the Explorer)
• When my children make each other CRACK UP!
• Finding Daniel naked.
• When Daniel kisses Samuel's booty.
• Samuel's cheesy grin.
• Samuel's excitement over snacks!
• Daniel's love of candy!
• When Daniel says, "Here it comes!" while waiting for dvds to load.
• Children dancing!

Humble:

• "Goodnight Mommy."
• When I've prayed too long, "AMEN!"
• When I tell Daniel, "Stand up," while changing his clothes, he'll say, "FOR JESUS!"
• Hugs.
• Tight hugs.
• Blown kisses.
• Holding my hand to, "Show you sumthin."

Blessed:

• Blue eyes.
• Bug bites.
• Dirty clothes.
• Trails of toys.
• Crumbs for critters.
• Meals with my two babies.
• Finding deals on things I could never purchase!
• Having sweet sisters in the Lord.
• Knowing there are two babies waiting for me in Heaven.
• Realizing I have a ministry, right here in my home.
• Learning that each day is God's gift to me.
• Texts from my husband.
• Love I don't deserve.
• Having a know-so, never-goes salvation.
• Family that knows me too well.
• Being held in the arms of God.  :)

28 is Great!

I turned 28 five days ago, and can I tell you that, although I am quickly approaching thirty, I had one of the best birthdays I have ever had!  I was spoiled rotten all weekend long and thoroughly enjoyed it.  I got some very thoughtful gifts ranging from clothes and my favorite ice cream cake to BareMinerals makeup, a Willow Tree figurine, gift certificates galore, and money!  Who said getting older wasn't great?!

It always had snowed on my birthdays in years past...  In fact, we just expect it.  Even if there isn't snow in the forecast, I know it's coming.  I've had parties cancelled and rescheduled for as along as I can remember.  So, when they called for snow days before my birthday, it too was almost as if it was God's gift to me.  :)

Here are some pictures from my birthday weekend:

Daniel enjoying Mommy's birthday snow...

Daniel decides to give Mommy a break on her birthday

and feeds Samuel for her.

Okay, nevermind how we look! 

Mom and me at dinner

(Who forgets to wear makeup on her birthday?!)

Eating his strawberry biscuit at Cracker Barrel on Mom's birthday.

Marble Slab Ice Cream cake!

Finally, a picture of the birthday girl!

Daniel helps Mommy open her present.

 

Samuel loves on Mommy before bed.

But, before going to bed, Samuel surprises her

by crawling on his hands and knees

for the very first time...

on her birthday!

Heaven has in Store...

what thou has lost.

My sister gave me the most beautiful necklace in honor of our sweet baby.

We have received the most amazing love and support from our family and friends since losing Elisabeth Joy.  From cards and calls to dinners and visits, we have felt God's presence since the moment we realized we were pregnant and even since the devastating miscarriage.

I never even suspected it this time around.  I really didn't.  Despite my first pregnancy ending in miscarriage, I delivered two healthy babies with little to no problems, and losing this fourth child never entered my mind.  That is what peace is. 

God has comforted my heart since that first miscarriage.  Yes, I realize I have two children and a lot of prayer to thank for that in some ways, but more importantly, I have Christ to give all of the glory to.  Somehow, despite this loss, I have found it exciting imagining what all Heaven has in store for me.  I'm not ready to go by any means, but if God should decide my time has come, I actually am looking forward to Heaven a little bit more since it gained our "Joy."

Everyday since the miscarriage has been filled with such joy...  It only seems fitting that this is what God gave me to name this child.  Seriously, I have watched the two children God has given me grow and play with all the life that is within them.  They have filled my broken heart with such laughter that I cannot help but be more joyous than ever.  Life is good.  Heaven is full.  My heart is home.



Thank you for your responses regarding our loss.  You'll never know what it means for you to mention us and our children (all of them) in prayer.  Thank you for your cards, calls, visits, dinners, and love. 

It's All Happening a Bit TOO Fast

Right before my eyes, my little boys seem not so little already. 

Daniel has his molars coming in.  In just a week, he grew, like 7 teeth.  I'm not joking or exaggerating.  He started Mother's Day Out on Tuesday the 17th and did wonderfully.  He didn't even cry when I left him.  Weird, right?! 

In the midst of Daniel's changes, Samuel's been gaining weight like a champ.  We went for their 2 month and 15 month well appointments, and Samuel had gained 5 pounds in a month.  Wow, right?!  He's now rolling over and smiling constantly. 

As a parent, I'm so excited for changes, but at the same time, I just want them to be little forever.  Is this what happens when you become a parent?  Time literally flies.  When I was a child, a week seemed like an eternity, but as a mom, my child has learned to say "Thank you," in just one short day.  Really?! 

God, thank You for the subtle reminders to enjoy every single second I've been given with my children.  Help me to remember that this will go by quickly and to never wish any of it by.  Thank You for their sweet smiles (one of which is now FILLED with pearly whites) and for the gifts You've given me in each of them.  I'm so blessed, Father.  Does it go by fast to You as well? 

Complete

Just when I thought my life could not get any better, the Lord goes and does something like this...

OH, and it's so good!  I am completely overwhelmed, completely busy, and completely consumed with diapers, bottles, pumping, crying, sippy cups, schedules, and boys.  More than anything though, I am complete.   

Don't think I'm saying there are no more Johnson children in the future, because I honestly cannot promise that.  Brian and I always said we wanted four, and then we quickly realized we'd take as many as the Lord would give us.  Currently, we have three, and we have no intentions of forfeiting or preventing God's blessings. 

Yet, I am absolutely head over heels for my boys...  Brian, Daniel, and Samuel.  And as for me, I am now completely whole.

On a side note, the above photograph was taken by Chelle Gibbs.  We cannot thank her enough!  Please see other photos from our session with her here.

Two. Of. Them.

I realized today that life is really going to change soon.  With Daniel turning one in two weeks and "Brother" set to arrive the first week of June, this fact that there will be two of them has started to hit home.  I have to begin thinking about everything in two's.  Two cribs.  Two high chairs.  Two car seats - one infant, one convertible.  Two in one stroller.  Two different cries.  Two different laughs.  Two in one room.  Two different sizes of diapers, changes of clothes, sets of toys... 

I have friends that have twins (Lord help them)...  Though I cannot fathom what it is they go through, I've thought about how "the two" hit those parents at once.  I imagine that could be an advantage considering what it is I'm feeling now - this is the pregnancy talking and the anxiety that comes along with it.  I feel as if I just got through with one baby to start with another, and the truth of the matter is that I'll have two babies - they'll just be at completely different stages.

Two of them, and only one of me.  Wow.

Yet, on the other hand, I'm feeling extremely blessed by this idea of "two."  Daniel will never know life without a brother.  He'll always have a friend he can count on, pick at, and love unconditionally.  He'll never have to question who his best friend is or who to call in times of trouble.  "Brother" will more than likely move at a quick pace.  He'll always be attempting to keep up with Daniel, thus energizing him to crawl sooner, speak more clearly and walk even faster.  He'll never know life without his big brother.  Those reasons alone help me to understand the Lord's reason for two of them...

I've spent days fearing the worst...  and I'll probably continue to do so every time someone initiates the topics of two babies at church or two children screaming for sippy cups and bottles or two kids' things being packed into one diaper bag.  However, I cannot help but think of the beauty of "two."  Scripture says that, Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed.  (Ecclesiastes 4:9)  I'm excited that the unknown of "two" is coming quickly, and I'm so grateful that the Lord has chosen me for "such a time as this."