Waiting on You

Last night (Saturday), it was close to midnight before Samuel fell asleep, and I prayed over him that God would watch over and protect him as he slept. It's a strange thing... wanting your child to be safe from harm but waiting for him to have an episode.

When the first neurologist arrived around six something this morning (Sunday), I was reminded that God's plan was no seizure on night one of epilepsy monitoring (EMU). Samuel had slept well, and when the team of neurologists came an hour later, they asked questions concerning his episodes and how they normally present themselves. The attending epileptologist was grateful for my detailed descriptions and said that Samuel's sound very indicative of seizures.  She decided he would not take his medication for a second day in a row to induce seizure activity. They said we would just keep waiting.

Samuel had a long day, though. He became more frustrated and bothered by the gauze and wires, saying they itched. He played app after app, but he was just so exhausted, he wasn't too thrilled doing anything. He got a big surprise when his Aunt Jessica and Mimi came and brought a bag of goodies! He was so tired after they left that he fell asleep. While he was sleeping, another visitor came.  Daddy came and brought more cookies.

However, Samuel has been quite the tough one to break because he ignores most anyone who walks in the room - all of the nurses and doctors! He has not enjoyed getting his vitals taken or having to take his antibiotic for a cough he has / had prior to arriving. He has not talked to his nurses at all!  

Tonight ( Sunday still ), we rented a movie from the Vanderbilt DVD kiosk. The nurses told us it was like the uncool cousin version of Redbox or Netflix. They gave us a card, almost like a library or gift card, that is ours while we are here, and we can rent one movie at a time with it for free. We watched 2 tonight. Samuel thought it was great! 

It seems so simple to wait. Wait until he has an episode. Wait until we get what we need. Wait until he has a seizure then press the black button. I think that I am starting to realize that it isn't about the wait as much as it is about my surrender. I have sat in this room looking at Samuel thinking the reason we are here just cannot be possible, yet I have prayed to the Lord to protect him at least a dozen times since yesterday. Lord, if it be Your will. No matter what happens here or at home with Samuel, God is and will be exactly what we need and have been waiting for. So, tonight, as our sweet boy sleeps, if God has chosen this path for us, then I will wait.

Pictures include: waking up, smiling with Mimi, grins with Aunt Jessica, movie with Mom, napping, cookies with Daddy, and bedtime.

Slow Down

See, in this picture you don't see that I had been rushing them from the table and telling them to "Hurry up!" repeatedly so we wouldn't be late to meet our friends. However, they understand the importance of showing our friends how much they love them, and instead of hurrying, they paid careful attention to their drawings for them, even included pennies and rocks from their collections so that their friends could start their own. In my frustration, I almost missed it...

UNTIL, they said, "Just a minute, Momma."

In that moment, I realized what they were doing was important and had meaning, and I watched in complete awe as their friends (who didn't seem to mind that we were a few minutes late) were given their special gifts. They were so excited to get them, and the boys were thrilled to give their things away! My heart was so full.

Oh, me (and mommas just like me)... it's only a minute, and there will never be another like it. Don't miss it.

Daddy's Birthday

Brian turned 35 today, and we celebrated big. The boys made him cards, a video, a painting, and we got him a photo of our family that his sister Kim took on canvas. My dad came this afternoon and surprised him with a new blower! We went to dinner with our family, who gave him such sweet gifts and had a great night. We are incredibly grateful for his big love for us!

Dear Mema

I can remember the first time I met you, Mema (pronounced mee-maw).  It was in February of 2007, and you were celebrating your 50th wedding anniversary to Granddaddy.  You weren't too sure of me, and understandably so, seeing as your grandson had told you just three weeks prior that he'd become engaged to a young woman at church who happened to be me.  We hadn't dated, and I'm sure your had your thoughts and opinions on that.  However, in our first meeting, I could tell you were an incredible woman.

As years passed, you proved my first thoughts on you to be true.  Whenever we visited home, you made sure to have breakfast on the table, clean sheets on the beds, and fresh linens ready for use.  You didn't talk much, but when you did, your opinion was blunt, honest, and sometimes, a little uncanny.  I learned that you liked things the way they are, didn't need anything new, and preferred your old bathrobe to any fancy, new one that we could purchase for you.  You liked pictures around your house, coffee in the pot, and your television always on.  You kept the house warm (almost blazing at times) and the stove full.  You said, "Hello," louder than I'd ever heard anyone over the phone, and you loved to talk about the rain, your crops, and whether or not we would be home soon.

Over time, I grew on you.  You became more excited to see us come, especially when we first learned we were pregnant just months after Granddaddy passed away.  You were anticipating that baby as much as we were, and when we lost it, I believe you hurt some too.  When I became pregnant again, you were ready, both in word and deed.  Your comments about my weight gain were hurtful and hilarious.  I could have lost a pound, and you would say I had gained ten.  You made me laugh by cooking my favorite foods, after learning that, although a country girl, I had no taste for beans, greens, or cornbread.  I could expect a full pot of mashed potatoes, a blue bowl full of green beans, and a dish full of sweet potatoes, fixed better than anyone could ever fix them.  You loved me in ways I didn't realize then.  When Daniel was finally born, I can remember you coming to visit just three weeks after he was born.  I was pretty "hefty" as you said, but you were smitten over Daniel.  I watched as you beamed with joy leaning over his baby swing.

You are a grandmother in every sense of the word.  You love your grandbabies and great-grandbabies with all you have in you.  You provide for them in every way you can.  You fix them their favorite waffles with tons of butter and syrup then make chocolate milk and keep it coming all day long.  You always have animal crackers and Cheerios for the little ones, and your closet is full of old toys to keep them entertained, although they are the same toys that have been there since I joined the family.  The old John Deere four-wheeler toy you have is a favorite of the boys (where is it as of lately?!), and you laugh so hard watching Daniel, Samuel, and Elias attempt to ride it around the house.  You love them, and they love you.

Mema, I realize that it's almost time for you to go home yourself.  You've proven yourself determined and strong over the past three weeks.  You suffered a stroke, were paralyzed on your left side, and were not swallowing, and yet, a week later, you decided you didn't want a feeding tube by ripping it out and then showed you were strong enough to go home by beginning to eat and respond.  You've been at home for a week and have done really well, so well in fact, that the boys and I came to visit you!  Daniel and Samuel had made you cards, and you thanked them for them!  The boys couldn't understand why you weren't able to get up, and Mema, I wish we knew for sure.

However, I know that God is getting ready to call you home.  I don't want you to go, but I don't want you to stay.  I hope you see Granddaddy, Thomas (your son), and Cindy (your daughter-in-law).  I want you to see the babies that we never got to meet here on Earth.  I want you to walk again.  I want you to smile and talk again.  I want you to be the wonderful woman I met 6 years ago on your 50th anniversary.  I want you to get to be YOU again, but in Heaven, you'll be an even better you, and I couldn't ask for anything more!

The memories I hold in my heart of you are precious, but knowing you'll soon be seeing Jesus makes me so excited I can hardly stand it.  Please, please, don't worry about us.  We'll be okay; you've raised your family in such a way that there's no way they wouldn't be.  They are strong, determined, and grounded in Christ.  Go home to Him.  Until we meet again...

Mema and Granddaddy on their 50th Anniversary

February 2007

Mema, Brian, and I at our wedding shower

March 2007

Our Wedding and Both Sides of the Families

March 31, 2007 

Holding Daniel for the first time

May 2009

Sweet Mema

May 2009

Meeting Elias

May 2012

Mema with all 7 of her great-grandchildren

July 2012

Brian and his Mema at his Master's Degree Ceremony

December 2012

Daniel loves his Mema!

Visiting May 2013

Brian, Samuel, and Mema

May 2013

Time for a Pizza Party!

We opted for a smaller, less involved party for the boys' birthdays this year.  Oh, and we knew their parties needed to be combined, seeing as their brother is due two days before Samuel's 2nd birthday.  So, since I was having early contractions, we scheduled their Pizza Party a week before Daniel's birthday.  We invited mostly family and a few neighborhood friends.  It was perfect!

Waiting not-so-patiently for Daddy to finish praying

Hugging on Grandpa during the prayer

Daniel was so excited that

Baby Josie came to his party!

Our indoor train table provided lots of fun.

The sand table outside was such a mess,

but honestly, so much fun for everyone!

We borrowed a bounce house from our friends,

and Daniel was thrilled...

so were most of the kids!

Getting their personal pan pizza cakes

on a picnic blanket in the backyard.

This isn't the best picture,

but please look at Samuel

eating his cake.

On his 1st birthday,

he actually shoved his cake away...

My, how a year changes things!

Daniel didn't care so much for the cake...

He liked all of the cake's toppings!

Possibly Samuel's favorite gift(s)

came from Mimi -

Stuffed Sesame Street characters,

Ernie and Cookie Monster.

He was very happy to hug them!

Daniel found this gift unwrapped a week or two

BEFORE the party and talked about it

every.single.day.without.fail.

He was PUMPED to FINALLY open it!

Whew, what a tiring party!

Slept like babies...

Happy (early) Birthday, Boys!  Thank you to everyone who came and made this so special for the boys and our family.  We truly are blessed with dear family and friends.

Easter Events

Easter is very important to our family.  Not the eggs and hunts or the baskets and chocolate, but we are really focused on teaching our children what Easter really is about:  the death and resurrection of our Savior.  Now, I realize that our children are only toddlers, but we try to speak often of Jesus and read the Bible daily.  So, when Easter and all of its events roll around, it's prime time we mention Jesus' purpose clearly to our kids. 

Daniel hunted eggs (at his Mother's Day Out party) with the best of them.  He knew which candies he liked and the ones he'd rather give to Dad.  He and Samuel loved opening their baskets from Mimi: finding dollars and quarters in their eggs, getting new trains and cars, and eating until their bellies ached.  However, Daniel can tell the story of Jesus by looking at the pictures in his Baby Blessings Bible and The Very First Easter book.  That, to me, is what Easter IS truly about.

Here is our Easter in pictures:

Showing off the loot from

his Mother's Day Out Egg Hunt

Despite not being able to hunt eggs

or go to Mother's Day Out,

Samuel's sweet teacher made sure

he had his own bucket of goodies!

Checking out whose bucket was best

Easter Sunday

Heading out the door to church

Our somewhat annual Easter picture

in Mimi's backyard...

Please take a moment to understand that

pictures with toddlers, pregnant women,

and preacher dads aren't always ideal.

That being said,

Brian had changed out of his suit

before I had even unloaded the car,

Daniel had had an accident

in his brown pants thus the green shorts,

and I was about to sweat to death.

I honestly love this picture.

It's SO our life right now.

Daniel gets his "cheese" from his Momma.

This makes me laugh because Daniel and I

have an almost identical picture to this

from two years ago when I was pregnant

with Samuel...  I was actually wearing

this same dress 2 years ago!

Loving on Mimi

Playing in the fountain in Mimi's backyard

Samuel admiring his new Francesco Cars 2 car

"It's dollars, Mommy!"

I don't know who was more excited

about the Easter baskets...

The boys or their Daddy?!

Easter Bunny Chocolate +

A Chocolate Loving Boy =

Pure Satisfaction