Friday, April 24, 2009

The Pediatrician and The Pain

As a young woman, I never took it literally when I read in Genesis 3 about the Lord's promise to women. He clearly says, "I will greatly multiply your sorrow in your conception; in sorrow you shall bear children..." GREATLY MULTIPLY. I totally understand that concept now, having just given birth to my first child four days ago.

However, I don't think that I realized that the pain wouldn't just be during delivery. The contractions beforehand were excrutiating, the hurt just to receive an epidural was insane, and delivery itself had to be what they meant when they created the word, "pain." But, that verse in Genesis doesn't tell you what happens afterwards... Maybe it does in some ways, but the pain you feel as a parent has only just begun.

We took Daniel for his first pediatrician's appointment today. It's the most difficult thing watching your child ache, seeing him squirm and squeal, and hearing his cries for help, knowing there is nothing you can do. It's all a part of life, and as he cooed his way through having his blood taken, after being poked, prodded, and pulled on, it was an overwhelming sense of pain that I felt.

Pain because I knew this wouldn't be the last time he would hurt. There will come times when he aches, and I will not be able to heal his hurts. From that first fever to his first skinned knee, to his first broken heart and his first realization that he is lost, I cannot stop pain from coming his way.

As I endured the pain of delivery, I never understood that my heart could hurt worse than any contraction or push I might attempt. I imagine this is the sorrow and pain God felt when He saw His Son dying on the cross... Can you even fathom what God felt? I don't think I can, but as I saw that Garfield band-aid across Daniel's tiny foot today, I pictured it. I imagined the pain He felt. I attempted to understand the love the Father had for His Son. Because, friends, I have it. I have more love than I ever thought possible for this little boy, and I am thankful for the pain because it means having him.

By the way, everything looks good. No weight loss, no jaundice, no fever... Just a healthy, little gift from God.

Here he is, all ready for the doctor!


Daniel didn't necessarily like the doctor!


Daniel's treat when he got home from the doctor: his first time in the swing!

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