Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Dear Daniel

Dear Daniel,

For four weeks, you have had a cough.  It didn't seem to bother you that much.  In fact, you have been more active than ever!  You have been screaming and throwing terrible tantrums, but you have been the happiest boy.  It became somewhat bothersome at times when you would play and get really worked up, but you hadn't had any other symptoms...  no fever or runny nose.  Nothing out of the ordinary until I noticed some white bumps on the inside of your mouth.  That is when I decided to call your pediatrician.

You waited so patiently in the pediatrician's office this afternoon.  You played for two whole hours with the sink and trashcan in the room.  You were restless when the doctor would come and go, and he came and went quite a bit today.  When he first came in, he just looked in your ears and listened to you breathe.  He made a face when he placed his stethoscope on your back and heard what must have been wheezing.  He left only to come back with a sweet nurse who held a large instrument in her hand.  She put it into both of your ears until it beeped; you sat so very still while all of this was taking place.  We waited for the results. 

What seemed like hours passed until the doctor returned with your results.  There was so much fluid behind both of your ears that you failed the pressure test they had given you.  The doctor claimed that this explained your moods and fits as of late but didn't have anything to do with your persistant cough.  He began listening to your chest again.  You laughed when he tickled your belly with his stethoscope, and you really liked looking at his red bow tie.  However, the news we received about you didn't make us laugh.  To be honest, it was overwhelming and frightening. 

I left with three prescriptions and one tired little boy.  You said, "Shoe!" when I got you into the van, indicating you wanted me to take off your tennis shoes.  I worried the whole way home.  I remember watching my Dad have coughing fits and always wondered if he was going to stop breathing.  He'd pull out his inhaler, and all would be normal again.  I couldn't help but feel scared of losing him but was always thankful for that blue tool that made him well.

Yours is red.  It fits into a barreled chamber that has a small face mask on it.  I am to put the inhaler into the top of the chamber and put the end with the mask over your face.  You will get two pumps four times a day.  This, my son, explains your cough and what will hopefully make it easier for you to bear. 

I'm fearful of what this may mean for your future, I must admit, but I was reminded tonight as I rocked you to sleep that I will carry you for the rest of my life.  I'll carry your burdens and hurt when you do.  I'll cry when you're upset and laugh when you make me.  I'll protect you when I can and take care of you always.  Sweet Daniel, there will be times when I can't, though; I'm just not big enough or capable of doing so.  Just like I mentioned tonight as I prayed over you, only God can carry us both, and God knows what your future holds.

I'm so thankful for you, Daniel.  You've made me a stronger person, and you've taught me what it means to parent.  You've shown me how to laugh and how to love whole-heartedly.  You've made my worst days more incredible than I could have ever imagined, and you've brought more joy to my life than I can put into words.  I love who you are and the amazing personality you possess.  You take everything in stride.  You stand right back up when you fall.  You laugh when you don't get your way.  You take the first breaths from your inhaler with pride, and you never flinch.  You just smile... You were so proud of yourself, and baby boy, I was too.  There has never been a time when I've been more honored to be your mom.  I thank God that He's given me you. 

With ALL of my heart,

17 Already...

I know, it feels like yesterday that he was only 16 months old, but Daniel is seriously growing up right before our eyes.  He does things daily that astonish me and guide me into believing that tomorrow he'll be starting Kindergarten. 

In Daniel's 17th Month, He:
Wore a size 18-24 month clothes.
Was in a size 5 1/2 in shoes.
Had a weird cough most of the month.
Weighed over 26 pounds.
Rode on Mom's back in the Beco all the time.
Loved to swing.
Enjoyed playing with Addy.
Did NOT like going down the slide.
Always was screaming and smiling.
Liked eating chicken, grapes, Teddy Grahams, etc.
Loved Thomas the Train DVDs and toys.
Threw "balls" to anyone who would catch them.
Found a way to climb onto everything.
Loved to bite people...  and himself.  I know.
Pretended to vacuum.
Began helping to clean up.
Pulled EVERYTHING off of the shelves and dressers.
Pulled clothes and shoes out of drawers.
Dumped his toy buckets over a million times a day.
L-O-V-E-D going to Mother's Day Out.
Brought us his shoes to put them on every morning.
Began saying, "Shoe."
Said "Hel-wo" all. the. time.
Waved "bye-bye."
Would touch his belly if you asked him where it was.
Liked holding his own books.
His eyes would light up when he saw his school lunch box!
Shared his first Cheetos with Grandpa.
Liked listening and dancing to music.
Had a blast with the headphones at Lifeway.
Adored his baby brother.
Kept his feet on the table when he snacked.
If you said, "Take a drink," he'd do it.
If you said, "Get your cup," he'd go get it.
Would knock on the door or window.
Loved being "side."  (outside)
Went to LOTS of birthday parties.
Grew about 4 or 5 new teeth!

Here are some more things Daniel did in his 17th month:

Was braver than snot climbing all the way to the top 
in the McDonald Play Place.
He did get stuck, not realizing he'd have to slide down.
Mommy had to climb up and get him.

Loved sitting in Mommy's old "play" desk.

Enjoyed other kids' birthday toys.

Took naps on his own.

Found a NEW way to get the remote controls.

Played with Addy a lot this month... 
Here they are on Labor Day in her play room.

Eating watermelon shirtless on Labor Day.

It was Wednesday.
Mother's Day Out is ONLY on Tuesdays and Thursdays.
He REALLY wanted to go...

Grandpa brought goodies on this visit...
Cheetos and Strawberry Fanta.

Daniel's drawings...

Oh Wow.  Listen, Mommy.

Celebrating Mimi's birthday at Painturo's.
Mouth FULL of teeth!

Loving on Brother.

Kicked back, eating a snack.
He wants his lunch box with him all the time.

Riding down the slide with Daddy.

At the park with Tucker and Addison.
Finding rocks and explaining what he thinks about them.

With the Birthday Girl, Miss Addy.

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Too Fast

My boys are growing so quickly that I cannot find time to write about them.  Seriously.

Samuel is a little chunk.  He was so little at birth (as compared to Daniel), but now, he is suddenly so big and outgrowing clothes and diapers faster than Daniel EVER did.  I found him on his belly in his bed the other night, so he's busy rolling over now.  He loves the bath too, but he's so big that he barely fits on his bath net.  It's so precious when he looks up and smiles at us.  Samuel is such a calm, happy baby. 

Daniel is a little comedian.  He's busy all day long laughing and throwing fits just to get my attention.  His favorite word is "Hello," and he literally says it one thousand times a day.  He likes eating peanut butter and banana sandwiches and pretending to give us a bite then stealing it away only to put the food in his own mouth.  Daniel is such an energetic, loving child.

The best part about my boys growing is that they are growing to love one another.  Daniel runs to the bedroom every morning waiting to see Samuel.  He stands at the gate until I lift Samuel into his view, and Daniel will begin with his "Hello" marathon of the day.  If we leave Samuel on the couch or anywhere in Daniel's reach, he is going to find his way onto the baby.  He doesn't hurt him...  Daniel just kisses him, gives hugs, and touches Samuel's fingers, toes, and belly.

It's all happening so quickly, but it's an incredibly blessed time. 

Monday, September 6, 2010

A Hard, Peculiar Lesson

It has taken me three years, one preacher, two children, and a long weekend to realize that my life really is different, and I have to come to see that when God calls me to be peculiar (1 Peter 2:9) that I must be willing to do so. 

I fail miserably at being "called out."  I have a hard time wanting to be a part of "the crowd."  Yet sometimes, I feel so distant from the world, I just long to be a part of it again. 

Yet, the Lord has decided that I am to be part of a chosen generation, one that follows after Him, and He took the time to remind me today.

Thank You, Lord.

Friday, September 3, 2010

The Sweetest Thing

I've ever seen...
is love like this.