Sunday, March 12, 2006

You Told Me Who I Am... I Am Yours.

Wow, what a super-packed weekend. Left the elementary school Thursday afternoon with threats of storm damage and all that good stuff and headed home to pack for my usual trek to Bowling Green for class which ALWAYS includes a sleepover at my girl, K. Howard's place. It's always eventful with that girl, and God loves her for that. We need each other so much more than I think even WE realize.

Friday was a day of learning about food, the land, and people with the Kentucky Agriculture and Environmental people at Western's Ag Center. Let's just say I got to eat Barbeque, Lays Potato Chips, and a good ol' chocolate brownie, mix that in with the auctioneer's pit that smells like cow poop and me getting to act like a busy bee pollinating in one of the activities we did. Good times. Left that place after a graciously too long of a time, and headed back home to pick up that Ali Mac.

Ali Mac and I headed to Chapel Hill, TN, to attend a Women's Retreat with our church. We jammed to classic 80s music and really got in the spiritual mood with Casting Crowns and our best friend, Nichole Nordeman. We had some good discussions about life, church, and love. ("I will not join the church until he opens the doors of the church." I believe were my exact words.) After all day Saturday of learning about prayer, I realized I'm not one of the best pray-ers. I wanted to get in bed and really TALK to God that night, and so I did. For an hour, I laid there, just talking to him, pouring out my thoughts, asking Him so many questions, I needed to know where He wanted me to be (for a church home). All He kept saying was, "Tomorrow, we will talk about this tomorrow." I was so frustrated, but after the weekend of learning how to pray and what to expect from prayer, I knew I had to wait. God really moved this weekend. Taught me how to pray again. Lit my heart on fire. I'd been missing that feeling.

Headed home today and heard one of my most favorite Casting Crowns' songs, "Who Am I," and knew it was going to be an amazing day. Got to Bethelhem church, Bro. Brian asked me to sing, "Who Am I" was today's choice of song, and got filled up when Brian then "opened the doors" of the church. I mean, FILLED UP. I couldn't even hold my songbook. I just sat it down, I might have ran to him. I don't remember, but it was a feeling I've only felt once before and that was when I was saved over 10 years ago. I felt that pounding in my heart, God was saying go... "Go. This is where I want you." He answered my prayer. Just like that. I joined; Brian must have known. I mean, he really had to have had God talking to him too. I wasn't joining until those doors were "opened" up, and then they were. Wow. Check that off.

Tonight just added on to my weekend. I went to my home church (Victory), I had gone there all of my life, over 20 years, but God told me to move on. Everytime I go back, it's like a homecoming for me. I love seeing everyone. EVERYONE. Their smiles, the music, oh, words cannot express it. It's just that feeling of coming home. I just love it. My friends there and hearing their testimonies, hearing how God is working and moving in their lives is amazing to me. We're all growing together although we're separated. It's so fascinating what God is capable of doing. I mean, really. Oh, not to mention, I love having people try and play matchmaker... LOL.

I'll tell you what else I have given much thought to this weekend... That person I may or may not have met already. God is really impressing me to begin preparing myself for him. I know he is out there, and I pray he is as anxious as I am, and I can't help but be impatient for I want to know him. I just wanted to say that I thought of you this weekend even though I'm not sure who you are. Oh, and Lord, thank you for being my best friend, and thank you for being the love of my life when I was so busy thinking it was someone else.

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