To Heaven and Back

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

What I Like About Elias...

He often sleeps with his eyes open.
His blue eyes are dark and big!
His precious nose is just like his brothers'.
He has full lips.
He is long.
He grows so fast.
He likes to snuggle.
His cry is quiet.
He only cries when he's dirty, hungry, or sick.
He smiles in his sleep.
His hair lies perfectly on his head.
His bottom lip shivers when he wakes up.
He keeps his arms and fists close to his face.
He handles all of the attention from his brothers very well.
He is content if he's being held.
He curls his toes.
He reminds me so much of God's grace.

Friday, June 8, 2012

Lately, Daniel at three years old has become quite chatty and outspoken. He seriously says things that people are thinking but would never say aloud. I love his honesty, and his humor astounds me. In the last week, Brian and I have found ourselves literally laughing out loud over things Daniel has to say...

Mom, it's an ant! RIGHT THERE! Kill it fast with your shoe. - upon discovering some unwanted intruders in the house
screaming at the top of his lungs - I'm a quiet mouse!
while on a walk in the neighborhood - Ugh, gross. Who did that right there? Why'd they do that poop on the grass? That's not good. That is gross. Why'd someone do that? I explain that a dog must have done it. He needs to go to the potty.
I don't like your booty at all. Put some pants on! - details are not needed.
I am the boss, Mommy. You are not the boss.
exclaiming to complete strangers - I have a new baby brother at my house. His name is Elias Joseph. He cries a lot. He shakes a lot. He sleeps a lot too.
I got a great idea. See, isn't this a great idea?!
I can. I think I can. - while trying to build a fort.
We're making too much noises. - upon hearing Elias crying.

Monday, June 4, 2012

Thoughts on Three

Today, I'm on my own. With three little boys. Did I mention that I am by myself?!

Both Brian and my mom had taken two weeks off of work when Elias was born, and here we are, two weeks later, and I am on my own. I feared the worst, to be honest. Last night, I was so overwhelmed with the day ahead that I could barely sleep. However, despite the fact that it's only 2:00 in the afternoon, the boys and I have already had showers, arrived ON TIME to the pediatrician's office, took a trip to the grocery, and ate lunch and a snack. Currently, not a single child is crying. The older boys are playing together in their room, and Elias is napping. What did I have to fear?! Sure, there have been moments today when I almost lost it... for starters, how in the world did I forget wipes when packing the diaper bag?! Why did I not have an extra shirt for MYSELF in the van?! AND, what was I thinking when I thought going to get four gallons of milk with three kids in tow was a good idea?!

I'm learning a lot about parenting, motherhood, children, and myself during this precious time. People said we were going to have our hands full when they learned we were pregnant with Elias. People also said that three under three was insane. They mentioned that we'd go crazy, go nowhere, and get very little sleep. While some of that may be true, my thoughts on having three are a bit different than those given to me prior to Elias' arrival and the transition from two children to three under three.

Here are just a few:

It takes at least 10 minutes to load the van, 20 minutes to change diapers and potty, and 30 minutes to pack to go anywhere.
Even with a mini-van, there is not enough room for us all. Our car seats, extra clothing and diapers, and collection of strollers take up more space than should be allowed.
Diapers/Pull-ups/Overnites for three children are more expensive than gas. I'm so thankful for the stockpile I've created in my garage.
There is no diaper bag big enough to carry everything we need when we're all together, and sometimes, each child needs a bag of their own.
30+ pounds aren't that heavy until you bring home an 8 pound baby. My toddlers are breaking my back on a daily basis.
Forget not having enough hands... I don't have enough eyes or ears to keep up with the boys!
Lack of sleep never is easy. Even if you are used to it. Going to bed early is key.
Hand-me-downs are amazing. Dressing our children would be impossible without them. This is why I have yet to consign ANYTHING of ours.
Lunch is the hardest hour of the day. The older two cry if they don't get what they want, the baby is screaming for what he wants, and I am doing my best to hold it together! :)
If I can manage getting them in it, riding in the van with all three boys is my favorite thing. They are all happy and contained.
Doctor visits are nuts. I really don't know any other way to explain it.
Sickness spreads like wildfire.
It's not as bad as I thought. Really, it isn't.
One-on-one with each child is super important. I can tell my older ones crave my attention, and I love giving it to them.
Going is easier than staying. Believe it or not, as difficult as loading them up is, we are all content when we get out of the house... if only for a few minutes.
Grocery carts aren't convenient for parents. They just aren't roomy enough. Where am I supposed to put my groceries once I get my kids in the cart?!
I feel humbled. I notice people looking at me as if I'm insane to have so many kids, but I realize that God is the giver of life and He has given me three little ones to care for. I'm seriously honored to have this hectic, crazy life.

Saturday, May 26, 2012

In Awe

He is perfect. Seriously. I cannot, for the life of me, figure out how God knits our children within our wombs and knows exactly how to fashion them for us. With and after each pregnancy I have endured, I become more in awe of God and His ability to create to perfection.

When Daniel was born, after months of ultrasounds for high kidney fluid levels, we learned that the fluid was gone. This, of course, was amazing to his doctors (and us), but NOT to his God. When Samuel was born at 38 weeks instead of when he had tried to come at 33 and on his big brother's first birthday, he was healthy and thriving. We feared the trama of pre-term labor may have effected him, but there is no fear in God. When Elias was born, his ambilical cord was wrapped around his neck. His purple tint was alarming to my husband, but NOT to my God.

Years of miscarriages and healthy babies have taught me that life is not in my hands. I have realized that it is not my responsibility to worry or fear over what could happen or what might have been. God is constantly working out all things for our good if we love Him (Romans 8:28).

Had you asked me 4 years ago what good came out of my first miscarriage, I would have said, "Nothing." However, today, I can see the good, and its name is Daniel. Had I never miscarried, I would have never had Daniel. I cannot fathom not having this rambunctious, determined, intelligent boy in my life.

Had you asked me what good came out of getting pregnant when my firstborn was only 3 months old, I would have told you then that it wasn't. However, today, I see the face of my sweet Samuel, and I understand why God gave him to us so quickly. He teaches us to love deeper. He shows us how to laugh harder. He makes us feel special by just being in his presence because he cares for us that much.

Ask me what good came out of my fourth pregnancy, and I can tell you that miscarrying wasn't easy or good. It broke my heart but it allowed me to appreciate my two living children in ways I cannot explain. I looked at heaven differently as well... I began looking forward to it instead of being afraid to die.

Just recently, I've heard the phrases, "This oughta be good," and "How will you handle it?" in reference to being pregnant again (fifth child) with two toddlers at home. I'll tell you now that then I responded with, "It's going to be hard," and "I don't know what God was thinking." Today, I'm seeing so much more of God in my full house. I will say that it is difficult and I still don't know exactly why God allowed me to have another child so quickly, but I won't question what God has given me.

My heart is so overwhelmed with joy that I cannot put it into words. These are HIS plans for me (Jeremiah 29:11), and I certainly believe they are far better than any I could have made for myself. Looking around at my blessings today reminded me just how awestruck I am over my God. He is far too good to me, and yes, He and His plans are absolutely perfect.

The big brothers welcome baby Elias home.

Daniel is quite thrilled when holding Elias.

Samuel loves to give his baby brother kisses.

My Three Sons :)

I wanna give it to him, Momma.

Laying in the floor together.

Sharing a sweet moment together.

Look at my rockets, Elias!

Sticker time at the table,

and yes, Elias had to join in.

Thursday, May 24, 2012

The Day Samuel Turned Two

Turning two really didn't seem to matter that much to Samuel until he actually realized it was his birthday. We, of course, had to stay home with the baby being only 6 days old, but we wanted to make certain Samuel felt special on his big day. So, here is his second birthday in pictures...