Friday, November 24, 2006

My Thanksgiving Regrets...

I sat there tonight wishing you were there. I kept hoping you'd walk through the back door, giving that big grin, and "Hey" that you always did. I hoped you'd come sit on the couch with Jessica and me, and I promise I wouldn't have even squealed about your pinching me and I'm sure Jess wouldn't have minded your calling her "Festus," even though she's hated that nickname for years. I never had to answer to "Egghead" tonight; no one calls me that anymore. I never thought in a million years I'd miss being called that. I wished it was louder in the living room from all the noise you were making in the den. I kept wondering if Wyatt has realized you're gone, because although no one mentioned it, we all knew you weren't there. I know it's been almost six months, but I don't think it ever gets easier. The scenes of that day and losing you replay over and over again. But, I never expected holidays to be this difficult. I have never drove away feeling as sad as I did tonight. I have never had to drive by the cemetery on my way back to the city after having had Thanksgiving.

Tonight I did.

And I thought I should tell you that I miss you, and what I'm most thankful for this year is you. I wish I would have told you before you left us is how thankful I am to have had you in my life. You were and will always be the reason I love the farm. I hope you know that. Thank you for all you have done for our family, and thank you for the impact you've left on my life. I miss you so much.

No comments: