Thursday, January 19, 2006

Not What They Used To Be

Birthdays Are Not What They Used To Be...

Birthdays are never as exciting as when I had parties at McDonalds and at the skating rink, and with my birthday in January, I would say that almost 19 of my 22 birthdays have been mixed with snow. I remember counting down the days until presents and parties and just having attention... This year really isn't any different than the past 22 years; however, I have a strange calm that has come over me, no anxiousness, just a peaceful feeling I've never felt before. It's not about gifts, there will be no party, and I have no desire to make it a big deal.

Life has changed so much since my last birthday. I spent my last birthday getting over someone, missing another someone, and getting used to the idea that my little sister had gotten married the previous month. I didn't care about anyone except myself, and when only a few of my friends remembered my special day, I was so mad that I didn't want to spend the day with them anyway.

This year, I'm not near as close to my friends as I once was, but every chance I have, it seems as if I can't help but want to be with them, whether they've remembered it or not. Our lives have seriously gotten so hectic, we've rarely seen each other once a month and we talk on the phone maybe five minutes a week. How hard this has been getting adjusted to. I know that God has His hand on my life, and as tough as it may seem to me, I've reached a point where I feel sincerely blessed just to be having a 23rd birthday.

I will celebrate with phone calls, seeing my Fearless Threesome, and most importantly, cherishing my loved ones. I sense that God is working in an almighty way in my life, and I can't wait to see where the next year will lead me. What I want to remember most, though, is how loved I am and how much I love for this year. I know I don't say it enough, but I just love those of you who have touched my life, whether you've left a footprint on my heart or you gave me a smile only once... You have shaped me into who I've become and who I am becoming. All of my years would be incomplete without each of you.

OKAY, that was really serious and sentimental, and I really mean it, but it's my birthday in THREE DAYS!!! Time for some excitement!

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