It didn't come to us as a shock because, thankfully, God had prepared our hearts for the news we would receive today. He was so careful in His sovereignty to plan this in such a way that we weren't overwhelmed by the words we heard or even fearful of them. When the details were laid in front of us, we knew God was already there.
We had heard some of this type of news before... actually just two years ago. Then, it cut deep and made us feel paralyzed by the unknown. We researched and gathered information, tried different medications, and had many appointments. All of that came to mind today hearing what I hoped we wouldn't but knew we could.
Elias has been diagnosed with a Chiari brain malformation (a neurological disorder where part if the brain, the cerebellum and more specifically the cerebellar tonsils descends out of the skull into the spinal area causing pressure and other issues), just as Samuel was in 2015. Their malformations are quite similar in size, but the fact that Elias has central sleep apnea (which causes him to stop breathing during sleep) completely changes things.
He will soon go in for a spinal MRI for further information and to rule out a syrinyx or tethered cord. If he has those, he is definitely going to need brain decompression surgery to help relieve pressure. However, if he does not have those, he still has a strong possibility of surgery because of his current prognosis.
As the doctor explained all of this today, I remembered the worry that overtook me when Samuel was faced with a small Chiari (that, thankfully, hasn't required surgery), but I wasn't feeling that way with Elias... It was peaceful. It was matter of fact. It was out of our hands, as it always has been, and completely in God's. It felt great to realize these simple things and truths.
This might not have been what I wanted or expected to hear today, but it was exactly what we had asked and prayed for... an answer to our son's medical concerns. There was power in knowing now how to proceed, what specifically to pray for, and WHO was blessing us with peace. God knew what we were to learn today, and He granted us wisdom and knowledge from two years earlier to face this news with strength, grace, and peace that completely surpassed all of my understanding!