Saturday, August 29, 2009

Sleep Tight

For many sleepless nights, I worried. Like any new parent, every waking minute was spent checking to see if my newborn was breathing. I cannot tell you how many times I would reach my hand into the bassinet to make sure he was alright. I never slept. Even if he was, I wasn't. All the thoughts that filled my mind would keep me awake.

I had read all of the statistics. I knew that laying a baby on his stomach to sleep was strictly prohibited by doctors. I was told to remove the bumper from around his crib. I remembered that a sleeper would be all he needed to keep warm, and that a blanket or any loose item could be a hazard. I had been given so much information as a first-time mother that I couldn't actually "be" one due to the worry that overtook me.

But something changed tonight.

After my only (okay, so maybe it was my fourth) fifteenth trip to check on Daniel earlier, I realized that I had this all wrong. My fears were completely irrelevant. With each breath my son took, I heard these words, "He who keeps you will not slumber." The Lord whispered to me over my sleeping baby.

I have spent so many nights in fear. If it isn't my child I am worried over, it ends up being what to make for dinner the next evening, where the money is going, whose feelings I have hurt, when or if we should move, how God could sell a house in this economy, when Daniel is going to wake up, how many hours of sleep I need, or whether or not I am actually good enough (and these are only a few of the things my mind has meddled over just recently). I find it impossible to sleep among my thoughts and fears.

It wasn't until this evening, as Daniel rested peacefully in his crib, that I truly understood that worrying isn't in God's plans for me (Jeremiah 29:11). The same God that watches each sparrow, also has His eyes over me. He does not sleep or slumber (Psalm 121:4), and He definitely knows when I rise and when I go to sleep. Why has it taken me so long to realize that God's doing that very same thing for my child?

So, even in this early hour, my son has rolled over onto his stomach, is snuggled right up beside his bumper, and has his security blanket in arm. Am I worried? No. I have no fear because the God of Israel is watching him as he sleeps. Every statistic I've read couldn't give me any more peace than that. Good night and sleep tight.


Scott and Jenn said...

We are friends of your husbands. We graduated from Union with him. Congratulations of your beautiful baby boy. I read your last blog entry and was so encouraged by it. We have a 18th month old and a 6 month old. I don't worry so much about them as they sleep (I used to, though with the first one!). But our 6 month old has trouble sleeping (still) at night. I have found these verses that I started claiming over him at night. I thought you might like to read them, too.

... that he may sleep... and bless you; and it shall be credited to you as righteousness before the Lord your God. Deut. 24: 12-14

In peace I will both lie down and sleep, for You, Lord alone make me dwell in safety and confident trust. Psalm 4:7-8

When you lie down, you shall not be afraid; yes you shall lie down, and your sleep shall be sweet. Proverbs 3:24

Kendra Miller said...

i used to wait up in cold sweats when Noah started to roll over on his tummy. But your right, God showed me every night as I said a little prayer over Noah, that he was His first and formost. I can't keep him, only He can. anyways, I enjoyed your post. Noah is waking up now from his nap with perfect timing. God took care of him and He will take care of him as we travel today. :-)