Wednesday, March 18, 2009

The Kind of Son I Hope to Have

I have imagined for eight, long months what my son will be like. I have envisioned his smile, pictured his nose, imagined his hair, and thought about his character. I have learned that he is a night owl and does not enjoy sitting still. He has energy like no one I know, and he is big, healthy, and strong. That is about all I know. However, I cannot help but wonder what he will really be like when he arrives. I cannot fathom what he may be like as a little boy running around in the backyard with his daddy, and I cannot wait to see, if the Lord allows, what he'll be when he grows up to be an adult. But this past week, I was honored to watch a young man be the kind of son I hope to one day have.

He was handsome. He dressed in his brightly-colored shirts and ties, and he stood tall in front of a group of innumerous people. He smiled with grace and dignity. His piercing, blue eyes, filled with tears as he often looked straight into mine.

He believed in prayer. He began sending emails as soon as he received the call that his 48-year-old mother had passed. He knew that the only things he truly needed were the prayers of saints and his heavenly Father. He stopped often throughout the week to pray; it was so encouraging and humbling to see his love for God.

He laughed wholeheartedly. He told stories of days past and recollected on the many memories with his mom. He joked about her quirky attitude and her stubborn ways. He grinned as he found things she had kept for years that he had given her.

He wept. I don't know many who didn't, but as he preached his mother's funeral, tears welled up in his eyes. He wasn't just crying because she was gone, he was devastated over all the lost family members in the chapel. He wasn't afraid to grieve or to show that he loved her by the teardrops streaming down his face.

He was strong. Oh, I cannot explain this fully, but imagine having just lost your grandfather, a baby, and father in less than two years and facing the death of your mother as well. He was so amazing in her absence. He held his sister, and he brought loving words to each of the 400+ people who entered the funeral home doors.

He remembered it all. He wore bright colors because his mother always loved them. He wanted the room filled with beautiful arrangements because she adored them. He asked for certain songs and particular people to be included in the funeral on her behalf. He recollected her favorite foods, endearing ways, and fascinating personality. It was if he hadn't forgotten a single day he'd had with her.

I wish I could spend days explaining how this man is exactly how I hope my soon-to-arrive son is, but I pray this is enough:

Elijah, when you find yourself looking for someone to be like or a person to model your life after, choose Jesus, and if that's too hard to do, sweet boy, look no further than your daddy. He'll lead you to Jesus, and he'll make sure you see who He longs to be like, his Lord. He loves you more than you know, and He longs to see you saved. Yes, your daddy is exactly the kind of son I hope you are, and I know his momma was proud to have.

In Memory of Brian's Momma and Elijah's Nana,
Cindy J. Johnson
April 9, 1960 - March 9, 2009


Brandy said...

Hey girl, I just wanted to let you know that my family and I have been praying for you, Brian, and little Elijah. Our hearts and prayers are with you.
Love you

Emily said...

This is SUCH a beautiful tribute to your husband and his sweet mother. Elijah is blessed to be born into such an awesome family. I am praying for you each as you face each day to come. I pray little Elijah brings great joy and sunshine to otherwise difficult and dark days. Thank you for being a blessing!