Wednesday, April 26, 2006

Does Time Heal Brokenness?

What's going on will just take some time. Let's just say that. Time. It's a good word. As well as "broken." It's another good one. I feel that one a lot now. Everything and the people who mean most to me right now are "broken."

Brokenness is not a fun thing ever whether it's glass or your heart; it just doesn't work. Time doesn't heal it either... Brokenness just is. Time can't fix a broken glass. Glue does. Time can't mend a broken heart. Love does. I feel confusion and pain and broken and tired and hurt. And really, I don't feel like not crying. It's a complete cryfest. All the time.

Please continue to pray for us. We need it. I'm trying to understand God, why He works the way He does, because nothing in my life makes sense. I'm not sure how to accept healing from Him, but I know I have to because our broken hearts aren't all that matter. That's also hard to make sense of. I think I know the answer to my question, Does Time Heal Brokenness... And no; it's God who does the healing, and it is He in combination with your spirit who decides the time it takes. I'm not ready for it yet... I know He can make this better and I know He will. I want to see why this has happened. I don't want to just throw my hands up in the air and give up. I want to fight it out, but really I'm not. It's hard to pray when your heart is broken sometimes... I know that doesn't make sense, but it does to me. It's like I'm so hurt God can and would allow this to happen that I don't necessarily feel like talking to Him, even though I know it is all the devil's doing. I'm so confused. I want peace. I want understanding. I want time. I want the broken pieces to be put back together...

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