Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Can You See Love?

As a Kindergarten teacher for two years, I was asked some of the most hilarious, yet complex questions from a number of five-year-olds. "Who made the world?" was one of my favorites. "Who is God?" was a more complicated one to answer. The one I will never forget was, "Is Jesus God's brother?" There were days I found myself so wrapped up in answering their sweet, profound questions that we hadn't even moved off of the carpet into our desks. I challenged myself to make sense of these thoughts in their little heads.

There were days we talked about God quite a bit. Other days, He wasn't mentioned at all. I wanted so badly for each little heart to know who God was, yet in the public classroom setting, there were only so many things I could say. That in itself broke my heart. I knew God was the one giving me the opportunity to speak about Him, and sometimes I actually discovered that maybe, just maybe I had taken our carpet conversations a little too far...

It hasn't been until recently that I have looked back on their questions and really thought them through. I do have a child of my own on the way, and I imagine his little mind will come up with questions like theirs. However, there are days when I have my own childish questions for God Himself. Just in the past week, as our dear friends buried their baby and I felt mine kicking as we said our goodbyes, I have ultimately wondered if love can be seen. Seems like a simple enough question, but it has overwhelmed my mind as I've seen babies pass away and felt babies leap within the womb.

I suppose what we always hear about love is that it is an action or a feeling. Oh, and I completely agree with that, but can I see it? Is it something I can view from a distance or look on with pure delight? How do I know that God's love is here when there are moments I don't feel it at all?

I have SEEN it...
I saw it in the eyes of a young father praying over his sick baby.
I saw it in a church filled with people to pay their respects to that same child.
I saw it in the way the devastated mother remained close to her husband.
I saw it in the tears the preacher cried.
I saw it in the face of my husband when he mentioned Ethan this week.
I saw it in my father's truck as he drove to Kentucky to buy my shower decorations.
I saw it just below my heart, as my stomach continues to grow.
I saw it when my husband felt his baby Elijah kick for the very first time.
I saw it when, in my daily reading, God spared Noah and his family.
I saw it in the way God watered the ground yesterday.
I saw it this morning when I looked outside and saw the sun.

Sometimes, it is hard to notice and impossible to feel. Sometimes, it's so evident that I cannot help but laugh. Sometimes, I just wish I could explain how I am learning how much my God loves us. He shows us all the time. It's in everything He does, creates, and gives us. Do you ever feel as though He's forgotten you? Maybe you feel like He's punishing you. Does it bother you that everything is going wrong? Maybe it's all alright, and it's exactly how God intends it to be. Maybe His love is shining through the pain, and you are too stubborn to see it. Maybe it's you who's missing what He's giving you... A world full of love. Just take the time to see it (because you can).

In Loving Memory of Brady Xavier Hines
10/14/08 - 12/31/08


DCW said...


Emily said...

Beautiful. Absolutely beautiful. And oh so very true. I think of you all the time!!