Sunday, October 29, 2006

Honestly, I'm Going To Be Content...

Something about sitting in a truck watching the sun go down on a fall afternoon makes you think about where you are...

Not where you're sitting or who you're sitting with, but whether or not you're happy.

I haven't truly been happy in a long time. I don't know what it will take for me to be happy. I think it's been made clear to me that sometimes people are happy with being unhappy, and maybe I am truly unhappy. But honestly, it's not that. I just realized today that it's not about how happy I am or how happy I've allowed myself to be...

God has given me every opportunity to be not only happy, but content. Happiness comes with contentment. All this time I've been praying for happiness, whether it be for God to send me someone to make me happy or my job will become a happier experience, when all along I should have been asking for contentment in Him...

Why is that so hard? When all I have to do is "BE STILL AND KNOW..." It's time to lay down my false pretenses and stop pretending to be happy. Instead of working on being happy, I'm going to be content and not just content in life, content with my life in the Lord. That's TRUE contentment - the ultimate test.

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