Sunday, October 29, 2006

Honestly, I'm Going To Be Content...

Something about sitting in a truck watching the sun go down on a fall afternoon makes you think about where you are...

Not where you're sitting or who you're sitting with, but whether or not you're happy.

I haven't truly been happy in a long time. I don't know what it will take for me to be happy. I think it's been made clear to me that sometimes people are happy with being unhappy, and maybe I am truly unhappy. But honestly, it's not that. I just realized today that it's not about how happy I am or how happy I've allowed myself to be...

God has given me every opportunity to be not only happy, but content. Happiness comes with contentment. All this time I've been praying for happiness, whether it be for God to send me someone to make me happy or my job will become a happier experience, when all along I should have been asking for contentment in Him...

Why is that so hard? When all I have to do is "BE STILL AND KNOW..." It's time to lay down my false pretenses and stop pretending to be happy. Instead of working on being happy, I'm going to be content and not just content in life, content with my life in the Lord. That's TRUE contentment - the ultimate test.

1 comment:

Brittany said...

I wanted to share with you the words of my very wise friends Jay, Gary and Joe Don (known as Rascal Flatts to all others)

"Cause when push comes to shove
You taste what you're made of
You might bend, till you break
Cause its all you can take
On your knees you look up
Decide you've had enough
You get mad you get strong
Wipe your hands shake it off
Then you Stand"

I don't really know what to say right now to make this better, not that I would even have the words or the wisdom to do so. Yeah, this is hard--in fact, it's alot harder than you thought it would be. Please know that I am thinking about and praying for you constantly. If anyone can do this, it's you..because Lord knows if you (the obviously stronger of the two of us) are struggling, I hurt. I want you to succeed as much as I want myself to. My heart hurts to see you have such a difficult time, but know that right beside you someone that can do more for you than I'll ever be able to. He'll pick you up, dry your tears and dust you off, all the while telling you that things are going to be okay.

funny how He is that for you and you are that for those kids.

i love you.