Thursday, February 5, 2009

I Saw You Today...

Sweet boy,

I have dreamed of you. I have both seen your face and heard your cries in my sleep. I have imagined how you might smell and what color your hair will be. I have never loved anyone as much as I love you.

Yet I feared the worse. After losing your brother just weeks after he was conceived, I worried that the same might happen to you. I have held my breath for weeks as you continued to grow. I have thought that maybe I wouldn't be able to hold you because God had decided to take your brother.

Oh, how I have prayed that you are okay. I have pictured your eyes and the color they might be. I have heard your strong heartbeat and cried tears of joy when I felt your first kick. I cannot help but laugh at each hiccup because I know you are doing well. Every time you are awake, I think of how it will be when you are finally here... in our arms.

Your daddy and I cannot wait to meet you. We plan to teach you about God and how amazing He is. We want to tell you how your Lord loves you and how He has given you the breath you will someday take. We want you to understand that though we are your parents, it is God who is your Father. He loves you more than we ever could, yet we are going to attempt to care for you the way He would intend.

Elijah, it was today that I learned that you are perfect. Yes, the doctor says you have fluid around your kidneys, and that it may cause problems. I will not fear; my Father is busy knitting you inside of me. He is molding you into a wonderful child of His own. He sees you as a jewel; He even thinks more of you than the flowers you will someday smell.

As we watched you squirm and wiggle your way through your little world, I saw how amazing you truly are. I saw your hands and toes. I saw your arms and legs. I saw your eyes open and then close. I saw you, and your little face looked just like mine. That is a miracle, baby boy; you are a miracle. No matter what comes our way, little one, in my eyes, you will always be a perfect baby that is fearfully and wonderfully made by my God.

Please know that your mommy and daddy love you so much. We are so blessed to even have the opportunity to anticipate your arrival. Be it April 13 or 24 (because the doctors are not sure with as big of a baby as you are already), we cannot wait to hold you in our arms. But, if by chance, we do not get to meet face to similar face, we will look forward to holding you when we get to Heaven with you. Like I said before, as much as we love you, there is someone who loves you so much more. It is because of Him that I saw YOU today.

With all of my love,

My precious, Elijah Thomas at 28 Weeks

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