Tuesday, September 30, 2008

It Really Hits Home

There are moments when things just really hit home. How about everytime I look back on this past February and remember losing Ethan? How about the moments when I look at any windshield recalling the wreck where I went through mine? How about the pictures I see of my Nana holding me as a little girl, knowing that she didn't know me for most of my life? How about when I walk past the pew on which I called out to the Lord and He saved my soul? Do you have moments like those? The ones that just really cause you to stop and think.

I'll admit I don't always look at everyone of those situations the way I should. It's easy to say that I thank God for the way He guided me in all of those circumstances, but it's much more difficult to admit that maybe, just maybe I disregard the fact that God had a hand in all of them. And he did.

Reading a certain Psalm this week really spoke to me. Beth Moore is teaching me (through her studies) that I must look deeper into these scriptures. Every single one has something to say to me, and God intended every word to hit home.

1-5 If God hadn't been for us —all together now, Israel, sing out!—
If God hadn't been for us
when everyone went against us,
We would have been swallowed alive
by their violent anger,
Swept away by the flood of rage,
drowned in the torrent;
We would have lost our lives
in the wild, raging water.

6 Oh, blessed be God!
He didn't go off and leave us.
He didn't abandon us defenseless,
helpless as a rabbit in a pack of snarling dogs.

7 We've flown free from their fangs,
free of their traps, free as a bird.
Their grip is broken;
we're free as a bird in flight.

8 God's strong name is our help,
the same God who made heaven and earth.

Now, I've not been swallowed up by anyone's anger, or thrown into a pack of dogs. I must say I've never once been in a flood or been tossed among waves. I certainly haven't been in ANYTHING'S fangs. But on the contrary, I HAVE been swallowed up in my own pride. I have been thrown into situations I wouldn't choose for myself. I've also been in some powerful storms in my life, and I have felt more than once that I was drowning in despair. Satan has had a hold on me, and his grip is more powerful than I am willing to confess.

That's not the point. Do you see what it says?! IF GOD HAD NOT BEEN FOR US... That's me. If God had not been for me... I've learned to think that one thing through. You know all of those scenarios that really hit home to me? Well, think of them like this...

If God had not been for me when I lost my child to miscarriage, I would still be lying in my bed weeping.

If God had not been for me when my head went through that windshield, I would no longer enjoy the breaths that I take.

If God had not been for me when my Nana was struggling from Alzheimer's, I would always question His purposes.

If God had not been for me on April 10, 1994, when I was saved, I would have never known Heaven as home.

God is for us. He's not against us. And though these trials continue to come, God is still for us. He's molding us into HIS image, and that cannot feel good. It's like putting a broken arm into a cast intending for the bone to heal, the means aren't pain-free. He's going to have to break us. He's going to have to tear me down. He's going to have to get me on my knees. Usually, it's in those moments that God really hits home.

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