Thursday, July 31, 2008

Leap of Faith

Therefore they said to him, “How were your eyes opened?” He answered and said, “A Man called Jesus made mud and anointed my eyes and said to me, ‘Go to the pool of Siloam and wash.’ So I went and washed, and I received sight.”
John 9:10-11

Jumping into puddles was SO easy when I was a child. It would thrill me, after each storm, to run through these little miracles God had left behind. The mud and the drops that splattered onto my legs never bothered me at all. Turns out I'm not a child anymore, and the truth is every spot irritates me to no end.

The mud on my legs has been quite evident lately. It's been no question to those of you who know me what I've been covered with. You know how my heart aches and what it is I've been longing for, and yet none of those things have come to pass. The puddles continue to pile up around me, and my heart longs for an escape from them all.

Instead of taking these "acts of God" head on, I've tiptoed around them. I've been so scared of getting dirty. I've been clinging to my clean clothes and worrying that the stains that may have found themselves splattered into my life would never come out.

The stains life leaves behind usually cannot be washed away. As they settle into the fabric of who we are, God has no intention of you doing His laundry. He simply uses each spot as a testament of who He is and how faithful we are. Will we spend load after load trying to rid ourselves of these blots, or will we simply trust that He is God and has a special purpose for each blemish?

With all of this in mind, I have quickly learned that each puddle is made for me. I can either run straight through it, wallow in the mud, or tiptoe around the water. There aren't many other options... Dirty may be the only way I can come out, but dirty is what I am, a simple sinner saved by God's grace. God's using the mud to clean me up. Romans 8:28 says that, "All things work together for good to them that love God..." ALL THINGS. Every single puddle. Each spot of mud. He uses them all.

Instead of spending my days avoiding the puddles that life brings me, I should take them head on, full force, and wait for the cleaning. I've realized that maybe God hasn't intended for me to have exactly what I want. All these things I've been stained with are preparing me for the future. Right now is not the future. What God had in store for my life was a brand new puddle, and it's going to take a lot of mud to get through.

I'm plunging straight into college. Not motherhood, not teaching, not housework... College.

I have applied to an Online Elementary Education Master's program from Western Kentucky University and if accepted, will begin classes on Monday, August 25th. Yes, it sounds strange. It's proably crossed your mind that I just washed my hands of teaching a little over three months ago... But God wasn't completely finished. He wanted me to go back, get my hands dirty, and love learning all over again... Here it is, one of the biggest puddles I've faced, and yet the only way around this one is a leap of faith...


Intercessor said...

JRJ, as long as you walk
with the Lord, you will be
expected to leave your comfort
zone for His sake.
We are the body and He is
the head, so we are his hands
and feet, doing His work
in a dying world.

Jordan said...

God speaks in mysterious ways and the only way to hear is to truly listen and you have definitly been doing a lot of that over the last few months. Follow Gods plan and all will work out, he never promised it would be an easy road, but it will all work out in his time!
Thank you again for the opportunity to work with the children at your church through VBS. It is always a pleasure to work with the smaller children. I don't have the opportunity often at our church being that I have a leadership role with the teen girls but as I said it was a true pleasure. There is nothing more humbling!

Please do not hesitate to let me know when I can be of any assistance. We are all striving for the same end result and anything I can do to help someone along the path I'm always available!

Brittany said...

Dear, sweet friend. Oh how I miss you and long for a few hours to just hear your heart and thoughts about life. I do hope we get to do this very soon. I think about you often and am assured that our Lord is continuing to mold your heart into one that seeks His, first and foremost. I love love love you.