Friday, March 14, 2008

Where've You Been?

I've been asked this question for weeks, and I have even asked it myself...

Not much explanation is needed for where I've been. I've been here; yes, maybe I've not been myself and have definitely felt as though I was going through A LOT of the motions. I'll admit that. It seems as if I've walked through this valley (and continue to) because I HAD to. Don't get me wrong, I know that God never puts more on us than we can handle, but I believe He definitely uses the trials to test our faith in Him. To be completely honest, my faith has ultimately been tested. My "want to" about anything is much weaker. I am so tired even though I've done nothing. I've done a lot of things out of obligation - I have a responsibility to be at work, church, etc., but mostly, I've done things WHILE completely feeling sadness. I truly want to trust HIM more than ever, have a stronger faith, and complete patience in God and His timing.

I think I've asked God, "Where've YOU been?" all month. It seems as if He's not been here, but as I've always been told, "When you are wondering about where God is, check your own position. God never moves; He is unchanging." God's been so faithful to us. Sure, there are times I wonder why this has to happen or why we've had to face this certain situation, but God has His ultimate plan. He never said that the cross would not get heavy, and it definitely has. My heart has been the lowest it has ever been, but God's love is there to pick me up again.

What I've learned through everything, from withdrawing, loss, and sickness, is that God's timing is always perfect. His plan is amazing, so much so that I don't and can't understand it. These valleys, as I call them, are just steps before the mountain. God is faithful, so REALLY, the question is, "F A I T H, where've you been?"

No comments: