I'm Not Together, But I'm Getting There.

I've learned that...

Patience is something I don't have. God throws me in situations that force me to realize that I don't and start asking for it.

Time doesn't always heal every wound. Some things will always hurt. There will be people you will always have feelings for. The death of someone you love will never be any easier than the day it was before. Time in itself is just that. It keeps going, and God wants us to cherish every moment we have.

Children are the true teachers in life. I learn something more everyday from five and six year olds than I did while I was in college discussing what it would be like to teach them. I am truly blessed to have the job I do and more so, that God chose me to have this position with THESE eighteen kids.

I'm not a tough as I think I am. I have a breaking point. I've reached it lately. I've had to stop and ask the Lord for help, and I mean, REALLY ask Him for assistance. I've always had Him there, but I've never thought I needed Him until now. That's refreshing and very reassuring.

I've got more creative talent than I know what to do with, and I'm more of a perfectionist than anything I've ever been in my life. Luckily, the carpal tunnel has kicked OUT of gear and the beautiful handwriting is back in action, but with that comes my need for perfection... And honestly, I'm wearing myself out.

Polka dots can brighten my day anyday. I see something with dots on it, and I am happier than you can imagine. The classroom has really taken off, and each day I'm gaining new trinkets and books of polka dots which make it even MORE worth my while.

Some people know what I mean before I even say it. Some people know how I feel before I even see them. Some people can put every one of my emotions into songs and sing them to me, and I've never felt better in my life. God knows what I need. Man, He does. It's crazy. He heals my heart before it even breaks, and He mends it when it begins to unravel. Strange how I never even have to mention it to Him. I've got the best of friends. I don't see them half as often as I should, but it doesn't take but a second to realize how blessed I am in that department. They know when I need prayer because I can tell when they're praying. It's unreal how they hear my thoughts when we don't speak. I'm just so thankful for who and what they are to me. Music has brought the sparkle back lately. You know, that shiny blue/gray sparkle that hits my eyes when I'm completely content? That one. It's back and it's because of music. Something about it makes things right. A specific artist has said everything I've been feeling, and seeing him in concert last night with my very best friend by my side was a huge healing process... I'll explain in not so many words: My best friend was by my side at the John Mayer concert. Not in boot camp, not in Iraq. At home, in Nashville. And though both of our hearts have been broken over things it seems we can't fix, we smiled and laughed together for one moment in time that I will NEVER forget. I just HAVE to thank God for that. Mayer says it best,
"Oh, it's taking so long.
I could be wrong; I could be ready.
Oh, but if I take my heart's advice,
I should assume it's still unsteady.
I am in repair.
I'm not together, but I'm getting there."