Three Years Ago Today...

Three years ago today, I had no idea what was coming.  I wasn't feeling all that well, but I was 39 weeks pregnant, and honestly, no one feels that well at that point.  However, I went to church with Brian anyway that Sunday, and it was difficult.  I was breathing heavily and extremely uncomfortable.

That afternoon, I took a nap and woke feeling a lot of pain.  Immense pain.  My back was aching, and though the contractions weren't regular, I knew something wasn't right.  Throughout the evening hours, I continued experiencing contractions, but they weren't consistent and I wasn't sure what was going on. 

I suppose it was the pain that I was in that caused Brian to worry.  I was crawling on the floor and leaning over the coffee table to keep from hurting quite so badly.  I cannot remember what time it was, but he made the decision to call the doctor.  I, on the other hand, was exclaiming I wouldn't go to the hospital until my water broke.  It was not breaking despite all the pain. 

The doctor said we should go to the hospital and get checked.  The ride there was excruciating, and the thoughts of natural childbirth quickly left my mind.  I remember telling Brian while in the car, "If I am not at least at a 4 when we get there, they are going to HAVE to give me something."  To my dismay, I was only dilated to 2 when we arrived, but they decided to keep me overnight.

The next day, on April 20th, we would welcome our firstborn son, Daniel Benjamin, into the world.  However, it was a long night beforehand, and I was in labor for around 23 hours before we held Daniel in our arms. 

Looking back now, I see why God chose this amazing child for us.  He is so full of energy and life while our marriage had been filled, up until Daniel's birth, with death.  We'd lost a child to miscarriage, buried two grandparents, and wept over the losses of both of Brian's parents.  Things hadn't been easy. 

When we became pregnant with Daniel, we were ecstatic and scared.  Loss filled our minds, but peace filled our hearts.  God had given me an awesome pregnancy, with a little boy who was super busy.  In the womb, this little being moved with such fierce force.  He rarely was still.  At night, I would lie awake as he kicked and pushed with all he had.  He was determined to let me know he was there.  What a foreshadowing this was!

Three years later, I'm pregnant with Daniel's second baby brother, and while I'm enthralled to be carrying this child at this point, I'm busy reminiscing over my precious firstborn at this moment.  Daniel has been everything I never imagined I could have.  I look into his eyes and see so much of God.  I look at his face and see so much of his Daddy.  I look at his actions and see so much of myself.  He's genuinely caring and perfectly rambunctious.  He's amazingly athletic and quite intellectual.  He's ridiculously meticulous and strangely determined.  He's thrillingly in love with Jesus and reading about Him.  He's constantly in trouble and consistently learning.  He's terribly social and awesomely brave.  He's insanely frustrating at times and exactly what we need all the time. 

Oh, how blessed we are to have him!  Daniel was the answer to so many prayers...  prayers of much-needed happiness, prayers for new life, and prayers that we thought could never be answered.  Yet, here he is, one day away from turning three years old, and my heart is filled with such happiness, life, and joy because of who Daniel is and WHO allowed me to have him. 

There are days when this sweet, almost three-year-old rocks me to the core and pushes my buttons as no one else can, but today, I'm simply in love with him.  I'm deeply, truly, and madly thankful to be Daniel's mommy.  And if nothing else, I'm grateful to my God for the gift we were anticipating three years ago today.  I cannot wait to celebrate his third birthday TOMORROW!