Looking Back and Looking Ahead

With one year coming to an end and with a new one at hand, my mind is consumed with how good God has been this past year.

• After months of praying over how we could get a larger vehicle, the Lord managed to total our Malibu in February on I-65 going 70 mph and hitting the median twice.  Brian and I were on our way to church, I was 7 months pregnant, Daniel had just been dropped off at his Mimi's, and somehow NONE of us were hurt.
• We celebrated our third anniversary on March 31, 2010!  I was feeling very pregnant, so we ate at Demos' and then headed to Walmart to finish up with Daniel's birthday party supplies.
• After a very difficult pregnancy and a week of bedrest, I was able to celebrate Daniel's first birthday with him.  I had worked so hard on it that the idea of not being there was hard, so it was so amazing that I was released from bedrest just days before his birthday party!
• I woke up on Daniel's first birthday on April 20, 2010, bleeding...  My doctor was certain I was going to have the baby that day, so I was transferred to Baptist to be at a hospital with a NICU seeing as I was only 35 weeks.  Despite all of the trauma, days in the hospital, and many doses of magnesium, the baby was able to stay in the womb and was in perfect condition.
• We delivered a healthy, 7.4 lb., 18 1/2 inch baby boy on May 23, 2010.  Samuel Levi was dark-headed, blue-eyed, and amazing!  Labor was fast and delivery was in 12 minutes.  Wow, what a blessing!
• Brian turned 30 on June 25, 2010, and despite having two babies on my hands, I managed to conjure up a surprise party for him!  We were blessed with friends and family there to celebrate. 
• I took both boys to Gatlinburg for the 4th of July!  My mom and Jessica invited us to go along, and though it was difficult, it'll be a memory I cherish for years to come.
• Daniel started Mother's Day Out on August 17, 2010, and since then, his vocabulary, social skills, motor skills, and thoughtfulness have taken off!  He sings and dances all the time, and it's incredible to watch him grow like this. 
• Daniel was diagnosed with asthma in September, but after a month of using an inhaler, he was FINE!  Praise God from whom all these blessing flow!
• October flew quickly by, but it was in that month that I really saw love in its purest form.  Daniel loved Samuel with more love than can be explained.  He woke every morning waiting to kiss his baby brother, and when Samuel cried Daniel wanted to help.  It was more precious than any blessing I'd received.
• In November, we were blessed by visiting Gatlinburg with my family and Thanksgiving with Brian's.  Other blessings followed...  Samuel had an ultrasound of a small skin tag on his neck that proved it was not a tumor or a cyst! We also learned of our fourth pregnancy on November 14, 2010.  Though we decided not to share it until we had more details from our doctor, we were anxious to see what God had in store.
• December 2010 was filled with surprises, blessings, and loss.  We spent such great time with our family and friends over the weekends and holidays.  We watched our boys celebrate Christmas with such excitement.  We learned how to live simply and how to love more.  We saw our fourth baby on the ultrasound screen when we believed we were 8 weeks, though it wasn't as far along as we thought, and two weeks later, we learned the baby had passed at 6 weeks.  The Lord gave me the baby's name on December 30th, but to our dismay, we had to inform family of the baby and its loss when I went in to have surgery on December 31, 2010. 

It's hard to end the year on such a sobering blessing, but we are reminded yet again that God is good.  He gives and takes away, and He turns mourning into great joy.