A Diaper Just Made Me Cry...

Seriously.

I ran out of newborn diapers (I literally can praise God for the fact that I've got friends who've provided us with two whole months of diapers), and I realized I had a pack of 1's (of course from friends) to put on Samuel this morning.  I teared up, not because I ran out of diapers, but because my baby is already growing up.  It happened that fast...

I realized how quickly time was passing the other day when Daniel and I were sitting at the kitchen table, he in his booster seat and I in my chair, and I handed him his own peanut butter and jelly on wheat sandwich.  I watched for what seemed like hours as this almost-15-month-old handled his own sandwich.  He fed himself his entire lunch, and though I knew these times were coming, I wasn't exactly sure how I'd feel when they hit.

I didn't know that having children would make me grow up.  I didn't understand how deeply my heart could love and how desperately I want to raise them "right."  I didn't realize how I badly I could worry and how much it hurt to see them cry.  I didn't know it would make me love my husband more and appreciate my parents more than words can express.  Most importantly, I just didn't know that God could care for me this much...

I look into the eyes of my children and feel so blessed, and yet I am so humbled by the fact that God loves me more than I could ever fathom loving my own.  I cannot imagine how much He hurts when I break His heart or end up outside of His will.  I cannot picture what it must be like watching Your own children have kids of their own, yet knowing YOU created both of them must be more fulfilling than anything this world has to offer.  What does it feel like to know that YOU hold their lives in YOUR hands and that YOU are in charge of time? 

So, today as I slipped that size 1 diaper onto my ever-changing, constantly-growing son, my eyes filled with tears knowing that these moments are quickly passing, and God, I cannot thank You enough for each second I have with them.  They are such amazing gifts, and God, YOU are the gift and the giver.  Help me always to cherish this time.  It's going by so fast...