Longing to Love Again

I thought of you today...

What you were wearing and how the sun would have been touching your face. I imagined the smile you might have and how you would be enjoying yourself. I wondered how you had changed and how long it had been since I held you. I couldn't wait to love you. I thought about the next few days and weeks. What it would mean to see you again. To hold you tighter than ever before, and to know without a shadow of doubt that you were the greatest gift in my life.

I also thought of what used to be...

How we almost had him. How we are Heavenly parents. How excited and scared we were when we knew he was coming. How our hearts broke and how hard we were on each other when we realized he was gone. I thought about how we told all of our friends and family and how crazy all of that was.

I also pictured what is to come...

I thought about how one day, very soon, I will hold you closer than the last time. The surprises I have in store for you, the summer we will spend serving Christ, the days with our family, and the nights alone with one another. Those are things I can't wait for.

And though, I've spent the first part of this year missing our child, I realized today that nothing is harder than missing you... You are my best friend, and life without you doesn't make sense. I am so ready to see your face again.

"...When I found him, whom my soul loves; I held on to him and would not let him go..." (Song of Solomon 3:4)