Go... Expecting a Blessing.

I'm learning very quickly that God is doing some amazing things in my life. He's opening doors for me that would have never been possible, but I can't explain why and I'm not exactly sure how He puts these people in my path to help me understand where I'm supposed to be... It's not about these people though. It's all about leading me down a path that will take me closer to Him, and though I've tried to make my own way, God's expecting me, asking me, pleading with me to follow Him, and in doing so, I've been blessed far more than I deserve.

Friday night, I came home with the anticipation of sitting on the couch and doing a lot of nothing. I didn't feel like doing anything; I was tired from the day, and I did not want to be interrupted. That was until God moved, and He moved in a big way. He had moved in the heart of my precious friend, Daniel. Daniel called, and I knew as soon as he called that we needed to talk. God said, "Go... and expect a blessing." I knew that God had a hand in the two of us meeting up that night. God has had a hand in both of our lives in an extremely similar way. I believe D calls it hitting a "spiritual wall," but we've both hit them at the same times in our lives, and we've always known that the other was in the same position. It's not until now that the Lord has taken a firm hold over the both of us and directed our paths to cross in a HUGE way. Dinner and a movie have never gone this way for me before... They were solely based on the will of God, expressing our thoughts on the past, for the future, and sharing scriptures. I left feeling stronger than I ever had, excited to study and pray, and anxious about how God was going to WORK... I cannot explain this now, simply because I don't know what the future holds when God is in control, but He has a plan in which D and I seem to be walking side by side and creating a major force for Him...

Sunday was exactly the same. I woke up not feeling anxious to get to church but actually nervous about teaching my 7 and 8 year olds their lesson that morning. I was struggling over how to make it "real" for them. Teaching stories from the Bible isn't ever easy for me as it was never that simplistic and fun for me as a child. I walked into our little classroom, and the Lord said, "Stop. Review what I have taught you." We had been studying, "We Worship God because He is Powerful" for six weeks. Take in mind that when I first started with these kids, they did not know who Mary and Joseph were, and Adam and Eve were foreign characters to them. I questioned God for all of two seconds but asked the children to take a tally of every question they answered aloud and the child with the most would receive a prize next week. It didn't take long for me to see how POWERFUL God truly is. These kids were fighting for questions, and their answers could not be better if I would have answered them myself. I was in awe. "Go... expecting a blessing." I was so humbled by God's movement in the room, our class of 3 children and me, their inexperienced teacher who is learning WITH them. It was so amazing.

I knew God wasn't finished. Sunday night, Alicia, my best friend, and I drove to see my sweet friend and pastor, Brian, preach in the church where he preached his first sermon three years ago. This time, I went EXPECTING A BLESSING, but what I received was so much more. We drove to Brian's hometown, two hours west, to Clarksburg, Tennessee, in a town where the new Dollar General was quite the excitement until the newspaper recently printed that there is talk of a 10-screen movie theater may possibly be in the works. We heard an amazing sermon, straight from the throne of God, and I know that it was directed toward everyone sitting in that small church building. "What will you leave behind?" I thought of his words as I drove home tonight, and I contemplated the ideas others might have of me if I were to leave this world sooner than later. Have I truly lived the life God expected of me? That's easy because I haven't. Am I living it right now? Of course not. I can't be leaving behind the true meaning of my life.

In a week from today, I will be celebrating my 24th birthday, and in those 24 years, I have made some amazing memories. The friendships I have made and lost over the years have shaped me into and out of the person I have become in some ways. My family has been more wonderful than anything I could have ever deserved, and they have pushed me to strive for nothing short of the very best in me in most ways. So, I guess, most people would look back on my life and see the memories in photographs of the friends and family that fill my rooms. But, to me, that's not what has made my life worth living, and though I haven't always said so, it's something that can't be seen in a picture.

I was 10 years old, kneeling at a church bench, when my life changed, and I received the true meaning of life. Not an hour before I ran to that bench, I had walked around in a handshake, and I realized that I didn't know if I was going to Heaven. God gently tapped on my heart, but I was scared. I ran to the bathroom, sat in the floor of the back stall, when my best friend, Amanda, and her mom, came and asked me if I needed to pray. It was like God was telling me to, "Go... expect a blessing." I didn't just walk to pray; I ran. I had to KNOW that I was going to Heaven, and I had to make it right with God that day. It couldn't wait. I cried out to Him for what seemed like forever; I heard others in the church praying for me too, but it was ultimately up to me to make it right with God. When I let go, and let God have control, it was then I received the greatest blessing and my purpose for living. The burden was gone, and I knew I was going to Heaven.

I guess what I am trying to say by all of this is that I can try to live my life the way I want to, but it will never be enough to satisfy me the way that God can. He gives me everything I need when I don't even realize that He can and will. He proves Himself to me time and time again. It's when I'm at my lowest that He picks me up and takes me back to the place where my life REALLY began, and that's the time when I found the truest blessing.