Needing God is a feeling I felt quite a bit yesterday. The hail and rain ceased and our teacher released us, and we headed to our cars. There were puddles everywhere, and when I say puddles, I mean one to two feet deep puddles. Small ponds, if you will. I grabbed my flip flops from off of my feet and went running, just took off. I wanted to be somewhere I felt safe, although I was in the tornado shelter, I wanted to be with people that made me feel safe, my family or my friends. That's exactly where I headed, to friends. Jeremy and A.T.'s house is in Bowling Green, and once I made it there, all my worries slipped away, at least until we began watching the news and realized that our homes back in Tennessee were in tremendous danger.
We sat watching the yellow, then orange and red, and finally purple shades sweep across the map over OUR hometowns, and although we were miles away from there, it was like we were being torn down with it. My heart hurt. My stomach was in knots. I haven't ever been as worried as I was watching all of this unfold on the news because I knew I couldn't make it home and shouldn't try.
Then the calls started rolling in... Their families first, and once we knew they were okay, I checked my phone. 23 missed calls. I had put my phone on silent when they had asked us to in the bathroom tornado shelter and forgotten to turn it back on. I found out that my daddy, mom, sister and brother-in-law, and my aunt and her family were safe, but there were others I could not reach. I started calling friends... I didn't get a hold of anyone, either my service would drop or I'd get voicemail, and then my Mardi called. It's funny who matters to you and who you matter to. She was okay, although the tornado had touched down steps from her house. I guess it was then that the tears started rolling. I guess it was then that I realized how serious this was. Life had changed for me, my small community, and for those I love, and those I don't even know.
I stayed at my sister's house last night in Portland, TN, because they had the interstate and all of the roads to my house closed last night. Electricity was out, and as I've now witnessed, the town was a war zone. It still is. I drove home from Portland today to my Pop's house in Ridgetop, and from there, I made my way down the ridge to home in Goodlettsville. What is normally a 10 minute drive ended up being an hour and a half. Pulling into the city, I saw trees everywhere, in the road, on houses, sideways, and upside down. There were workers in the roads. There were people walking up and down the highways. It was pure devastation like we've never experienced here. To see buildings you've gone in for years be completely gone and/or ripped to shreds is something I can't describe. Seeing the front side of Metro Baptist Church a mile and a half from my house caved in was too much for me. Seeing the looks in people's eyes, seeing the hurt, the loss, the tears, and the overwhelming feeling we all felt were things I'll never forget. It was hard. It was hard when I went into Target, Kohls, and other stores today, trying to make things FEEL normal, and hearing everyone talk about their homes and the deaths and all that has happened. It's hard.
I guess it's strange what you think of when things seem so out of hand... When I sat in the floor with some of my fellow future teachers in the tornado shelter at WKU, it was crazy all of the things that flooded my mind. I've always heard it said that the things that matter most to you, whether you know it or not, will come to mind in times of danger. It's never happened to me until yesterday. I've never been so scared that I've had a chance to worry or find out what matters most to me. Yesterday changed that. I wondered where all of those that mattered to me were. I thought of my house and my guitar. I thought of my church. I guess what hurt the most was being unable to do anything and being unaware of what was going on. It hurts not knowing. Sometimes it hurts even more when you know what's going on. When I found out that people had died, I just couldn't help but feel broken.
I know God had me in KY yesterday for a reason, and I know that all of this happened for a reason. No, I don't know what it is. I don't understand how this happened here in our small towns and to people I actually know. People died. My heart had been sinking ever since that tornado hit home yesterday. No, my house wasn't damaged and all of my friends and family are safe, but being helpless and seeing the destruction really took me to a place I've never been before, given me a feeling I've never had.
Please keep those effected by the storms in your prayers. Pray for the cleanup, and for those who cannot find the Lord in times like these. It's easy to be mad, it's easy to ask why, it's even easier to give up. Just pray that God will use this in a positive way... That hearts that haven't been seeking after Him will begin to. That things will change in a good way. That we find a way out of this without worrying over materialistic things, but begin worrying for things that really matter.
Here's a short video of some of the damage and cleanup:
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